The Harsh Light of Day

Alex Davis

Let’s not deny Alex is a pretty attractive girl. She’s hot, she’s got a pretty smokin body and that’s no lie but Alex honey, Megan Fox wore the crap out of the dress on the Transformers press tour. And really, it’s nice that you back yourself, good on your with the self confidence but maybe let’s leave Megan to do her thing.

Alex Fevola

Barbie and her pregnant rockers hit the blue carpet. The caftan thing isn’t actually that bad for knocked up author Alex (yes, you read that correctly, author – the world is now on official apocalypse watch) but the braided my hair before bed and then slept in the curls look isn’t so glam Alex.

Brynne Gorden

She’s a shy lass this one isn’t she? Okay here’s the problem with this outfit – it’s completely attention stunt whoring dressing. She knows it’s whore-rrific, we know, everyone is fully up to speed on the utter trashiness of this fat stripper outfit, so it only serves to draw attention to herself and get some good old Herald Sun column inches. Well, she’s achieved her goal by having me talk about her so well done Brynne, the steps you’re taking to Anna Nicole Smith territory are getting closer by the day.

Catherine Chappell

Some designer somehow convinced Catherine that a sequined one shoulder picnic rug was the epitome of high fashion. Whoever this person is should be recruited for international spy missions, because that’s some pretty good bullshitting if I’ve ever seen.

Chantelle Raleigh

You have to wonder, when you need to expose your slit to a media pack, how far have you pushed the boundaries. And no, this wasn’t the only shot of this action! Which is sad, because the colour isn’t actually too bad and the silvery braces criss-crossing the dress aside, it could have been passable.

Deanne Woewodin

Deanne will persist in driving me bananas crazy. The girl does not possess the ability to actually judge her size and buy a dress accordingly. Really Deanne, your breasts are spilling out the top – like Exxon Valdez spilling – honestly would it kill you to cover those puppies up just a fraction.

Donna Johnson

Donna’s single and queen size sheets really came in handy this year. If only she’d made the appropriate hospital corners, her leg wouldn’t have been so exposed.

Felicity Percival

Okay, I’ll admit a soft spot for the Perc. She’s always classy, always elegant and she has job that makes her really impressive and cool. So I don’t mind that Flick looks like a fairy princess bride on the blue carpet – I kinda like it and I’m kinda thinking is she wearing the runner up wedding dress and if so, excellent work!

Justine Viney

Part 2 of the patch work picnic rug conspiracy that swept the field this Brownlow. While being horribly ugly, my other thought is that it looks really damn heavy, and also probably really itchy and now I feel like I’m describing symptoms for a disease. If your dress description is interchangeable with a possible disease diagnosis, things aren’t looking good for you.

Kaitlyn (who received no last name)

While not the sequin shame of the two ladies above, the horrendous pattern of this number puts her into a solid third place in the one shoulder, one sleeve stupidity.

Kendall Nunn

I don’t know when girls thought black tie for a media attending event meant cocktail dress and hybrid boot heels (beels? Hoots?)

Kerry Lavell

Kerry’s boyfriend is the vice-captain my house’s self decided inappropriate name team: Dean Cox. Harry Sidebottom is Captain, Dick of course features and for pure giggles Peaches is in there.

Onto Kerry and her beautifully elegant with a surprise ending dress. I’m not normally a ruffle kinda girl but because Kerry’s pencil figure lends itself to some more detailing, this time I actually quite it enjoy it. The colour is subtle and she presented well on the TV and stood up straight – something many other girls failed.

Lauren Phillips

Sure it was nice, it was pretty, Lauren was pretty and while my house felt her teary-ness was a little thunder stealing (you didn’t play Lauren!), all in all it was pretty okay. But I’m a little underwhelmed – it’s just a little oh, okay, instead of WOW, shazaam - my boyfriend is gonna smoke your asses in the vote!

Lauren Thompson

No one ever, ever put the words tie-dye and formal wear together and came up with a good result. This edgy graphic designer project for Year 12 isn’t blue carpet material.

Olivia Anderson

YOU ARE KILLING ME! Would it kill you to dress nicely once? Maybe not wide and detailed? Maybe book an appointment with the hairdresser instead of the old home remedy, and I’m sure MAC or Napoleon would take a stab at some makeup but Olivia, would you please TRY something different!

Rebecca Twigley

The more I looked at Twiggers, the more I didn’t like it. The bodice especially doesn’t sit with me – the tatas out there for all to see – including a horribly drunk Brendan Fevola at your table. Also, I’ve decided you are make-up pretty – I’d be pretty keen to see you at five in the morning and see what’s going on there.

Sarah Williamson

Sarah, you’re either wearing a weird almost Olympic rings pattern dress, or a blue subdued bridesmaid dress and of course, from those two choices it would be hard. But pick one and stick to committing one fashion crime instead of double dipping.

Tania Buckley

On one hand Tania, you’ve got killer legs and for having two babies look pretty fierce. But disco theme night at Crown is next week and I’m afraid you might need to return the hair extensions before then.

Tania Hird

As reliable as James was as a player, Tania can always be counted on for her long pastel, ice princess with detailing dresses. She’s found her thing and it seems nothing, nothing at all will stop her from that theme.

Emmy’s

Top 5 – Best

Toni Collette

Perfect! Colour, spray tan, hair, jewels – everything. It proves the theory, build it and the awards will come.

Alyson Hannigan

Cute, and the layering really works on the red carpet.

Anna Torv

Different, and the colour is cool and 100 plus extra bonus points for being brave with the cleavage – hope there was some sticky tape going on.

Drew Barrymore

Old school glam done to perfection and the hair tucked is hiding that horrendous, paint bucket dipped hair she’s pretending to think is cool at the moment.

Chloe Sevigny

Cool, hip and marching to sound of her own drum without being the spaced out stoner drummer completely out of tune to the rest of the band (dragged that metaphor all the way!)

Top 5 – Worst

Christina Applegate

The weird mesh pattern sparkle panel makes Christina look bizarrely large and the girl is otherwise stunning.

Hayden Panetteire

How someone young, youthful and for about 20 mins was the IT girl, can dress like a 40 year old mum at the yearly dinner dance is beyond me? I hate to say call Rachel Zoe but she could give you a few style pointers – just ignore the diet stuff.

Kate Walsh

I’m so confused by the side airbags? Is she keeping change in there? Her lipstick, iPhone? If nothing then why have for layers of drapery?

Olivia Wilde

Last year she was stunning, this year she’s a lock for the gold in the individual freestyle ice-skating.

Anna Lynne McCord

People wonder why girls have inappropriate over-sexed ideas about fashion? Well, when some so called idols dress like lap dancers something’s going to give.