Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Mama's back and boy is she's cross
Yes, I know it's been a while and I've only at this game a short time...but it was the Logies, it took it's toll. I guess I will have to mentally prepare myself for the Brownlow.
Anna and Michael
I love this time of year…not for the crisp (freezing) winter temperatures which offer the chance to snuggle by a blazing fire with a red wine and good looking partner …no it’s Big Brother evictees fifteen minutes of fame time. And with that fifteen minutes comes the fantastic tradition of fashion crimes.
Here Anna demonstrates the Jekyll and Hyde dress – a lovely green flowery number that inexplicably is joined with a stripey fabric. Did the seamstress get halfway through and run out of fabric and decided to use off cuts? And Michael, you are not buff enough to open the shirt like that, you are not famous enough to open a shirt like that, you are not worthy enough to open a shirt like. Button up and respect your elders.
Axle Whitehead
Yes, he maybe too hyperactive for a Sunday morning but boy, oh boy, does Axle smoulder. It’s classic rock boy cool here, and I’m loving it. So laid back, so self assured and in no way try hard loser style of fellow presenter Andy G.
Bianca Dye
The dress that keeps on maiming. People stand clear of racks that have this dress, it’s nobodies friend. It masquerades as summer fun with length for winter chill but is a Bris Vegas dinner party dress that’s sadly taken Sydney by storm. If it had black I’m sure tragic Melbournites would follow but thank God for small graces. As you can see from the surly look on Miss Dye’s face, she’s not happy to be in it and we’re not happy to see her in it. No more can be said.
Erica Baxter
How oh-so-PR-driven that Erica be at the Aussie premiere of The Break Up. Get it? Kudos to PR flack for thinking outside the socialite launch list of Sydney square. It’s a vast improvement on the last time we saw Erica here at HLOD but that’s only because she’s removed the rollers and added lipstick. It’s too many clothes competing for attention and primarily the inside out kangaroo skin that is her jacket annoys me. Did she also need to wear Grandma’s tablecloth as a dress? It doesn’t seem to provide any respite from the cold so why wear it?
Guy Sebastian
Wow did Guy get the message wrong. In his efforts to be cutting edge hip and funky, when he read about skinny leg jeans, he clearly ignored the female section of the article. He looks like an eight year old boy needing to urgently go to the bathroom. Seriously, what is that pose? Are you hiding a pregnancy belly? Is the fly on your jeans broken? And the greatest rule of all for a reality TV star, don’t ever, ever change the thing that made you famous – grow back that fro ASAP!!
Isabel Lucas
Oh Isabel, you break my heart, you really do. You are such a gorgeous, natural, tiny girl but you continue to dress in the most ridiculous outfits. Why? Are you trying to sabotage my day, trying to remind me that even though you dress like a bedraggled bag woman you can still hold down a hot man like Chris Hemsworth and I, alas can not. In fact, now that I mention it, where is Chris? Is he hiding beneath your skirt? It would definitely explain why it’s so big!
Jennifer Aniston
The circus comes to town, so I get to judge. And while there is nothing at all wrong, like my international queens at Go Fug Yourself, I too am so bored with the black. Yes, Jen, I would too mourn the loss of Brad, I would mourn that he is shacking up with Angelina, she of hotness and charity giving goodness. I would mourn the recent birth of little Shiloh, realizing that I could have squirmed $4.2 million from People mag if I’d reproduce but ENOUGH WITH THE BLACK!! As Kevin Bacon so beautifully states in Footloose ‘There is a time for mourning and a time for dancing.’ Jen, please, please oh please, DANCE. Break out a colour, rock the red carpet, make people realize that yes Angelina is hot, but so too are you and there is a reason you nabbed him first.
Kathleen de Leon
After the savaging I gave poor Kathleen at the Logies (and yes I did feel bad) she has redeemed herself thoroughly. A picture of prenatal bliss with her hubbie, the normal one from Savage Garden, she shines in this grey white empire waisted dress. Simple, elegant, graceful. I salute you for an excellent recovery into fashion good books. With this look, you can check back often.
Lauren Eagle
Lauren is apparently a model but really, isn’t everyone these days. Lauren has however no sense of time management. How do I know, you ask? It’s clearly obvious after a day at the beach over baking herself, she’s looked at her watch, realised she is way late for the FHM bash and just buttoned her town to her bathers. Obviously she hoped that no one would notice…sorry Lauren, you’ve been busted! The other tragic thing about this outfit is Britney Spears is eyeing it off as a maternity number.
Lizzy Lovett
There comes a time and place where you have to take a stand. Here and now I declare war against footless tights. Look closely friends, she’s actually peeping her little toes through those tights. Why? Really, why? Has she been creative with a ladder in her stockings? Are her toes unusually overheated? I don’t understand. The rest of the outfit is fine, very Rizzo from Grease but Stockard Channing rocked that look so can others. All ruined by those damned tights! Footless tights be gone I say!
Nikki Webster and Sasha Farber
It was only a matter of time before Nikki popped up. In fact, she’s done well to hide from me for this long but I can’t ignore this treasure. It’s all wrong and I love her for it. She’s just the ultimate child star who will never ever be allowed to grow up. Her awful home job hair straightening efforts through to her golden cowboy boots reek of self styling and while yes, after Strawberry Kisses, finances have been tough for Nikki, you can always pick up a Cosmo or Cleo. Look at Mischa, Nicole Ritchie, little Li Lo and copy.
Tiffani Wood
Tiff’s becoming a firm favourite here at HLOD for her wacky ways. I’m still yet to learn what she actually does now but hey, who needs a job to be photographed. I know the crazy tights are in, that’s fine. It’s just let them do the speaking. Don’t pair them with short whory denim skirt with weird brown hemming, mismatching black pumps and black tee with white lace trimming. It’s like a Better Homes and Gardens craft project out of control.
Anna and Michael
I love this time of year…not for the crisp (freezing) winter temperatures which offer the chance to snuggle by a blazing fire with a red wine and good looking partner …no it’s Big Brother evictees fifteen minutes of fame time. And with that fifteen minutes comes the fantastic tradition of fashion crimes.
Here Anna demonstrates the Jekyll and Hyde dress – a lovely green flowery number that inexplicably is joined with a stripey fabric. Did the seamstress get halfway through and run out of fabric and decided to use off cuts? And Michael, you are not buff enough to open the shirt like that, you are not famous enough to open a shirt like that, you are not worthy enough to open a shirt like. Button up and respect your elders.
Axle Whitehead
Yes, he maybe too hyperactive for a Sunday morning but boy, oh boy, does Axle smoulder. It’s classic rock boy cool here, and I’m loving it. So laid back, so self assured and in no way try hard loser style of fellow presenter Andy G.
Bianca Dye
The dress that keeps on maiming. People stand clear of racks that have this dress, it’s nobodies friend. It masquerades as summer fun with length for winter chill but is a Bris Vegas dinner party dress that’s sadly taken Sydney by storm. If it had black I’m sure tragic Melbournites would follow but thank God for small graces. As you can see from the surly look on Miss Dye’s face, she’s not happy to be in it and we’re not happy to see her in it. No more can be said.
Erica Baxter
How oh-so-PR-driven that Erica be at the Aussie premiere of The Break Up. Get it? Kudos to PR flack for thinking outside the socialite launch list of Sydney square. It’s a vast improvement on the last time we saw Erica here at HLOD but that’s only because she’s removed the rollers and added lipstick. It’s too many clothes competing for attention and primarily the inside out kangaroo skin that is her jacket annoys me. Did she also need to wear Grandma’s tablecloth as a dress? It doesn’t seem to provide any respite from the cold so why wear it?
Guy Sebastian
Wow did Guy get the message wrong. In his efforts to be cutting edge hip and funky, when he read about skinny leg jeans, he clearly ignored the female section of the article. He looks like an eight year old boy needing to urgently go to the bathroom. Seriously, what is that pose? Are you hiding a pregnancy belly? Is the fly on your jeans broken? And the greatest rule of all for a reality TV star, don’t ever, ever change the thing that made you famous – grow back that fro ASAP!!
Isabel Lucas
Oh Isabel, you break my heart, you really do. You are such a gorgeous, natural, tiny girl but you continue to dress in the most ridiculous outfits. Why? Are you trying to sabotage my day, trying to remind me that even though you dress like a bedraggled bag woman you can still hold down a hot man like Chris Hemsworth and I, alas can not. In fact, now that I mention it, where is Chris? Is he hiding beneath your skirt? It would definitely explain why it’s so big!
Jennifer Aniston
The circus comes to town, so I get to judge. And while there is nothing at all wrong, like my international queens at Go Fug Yourself, I too am so bored with the black. Yes, Jen, I would too mourn the loss of Brad, I would mourn that he is shacking up with Angelina, she of hotness and charity giving goodness. I would mourn the recent birth of little Shiloh, realizing that I could have squirmed $4.2 million from People mag if I’d reproduce but ENOUGH WITH THE BLACK!! As Kevin Bacon so beautifully states in Footloose ‘There is a time for mourning and a time for dancing.’ Jen, please, please oh please, DANCE. Break out a colour, rock the red carpet, make people realize that yes Angelina is hot, but so too are you and there is a reason you nabbed him first.
Kathleen de Leon
After the savaging I gave poor Kathleen at the Logies (and yes I did feel bad) she has redeemed herself thoroughly. A picture of prenatal bliss with her hubbie, the normal one from Savage Garden, she shines in this grey white empire waisted dress. Simple, elegant, graceful. I salute you for an excellent recovery into fashion good books. With this look, you can check back often.
Lauren Eagle
Lauren is apparently a model but really, isn’t everyone these days. Lauren has however no sense of time management. How do I know, you ask? It’s clearly obvious after a day at the beach over baking herself, she’s looked at her watch, realised she is way late for the FHM bash and just buttoned her town to her bathers. Obviously she hoped that no one would notice…sorry Lauren, you’ve been busted! The other tragic thing about this outfit is Britney Spears is eyeing it off as a maternity number.
Lizzy Lovett
There comes a time and place where you have to take a stand. Here and now I declare war against footless tights. Look closely friends, she’s actually peeping her little toes through those tights. Why? Really, why? Has she been creative with a ladder in her stockings? Are her toes unusually overheated? I don’t understand. The rest of the outfit is fine, very Rizzo from Grease but Stockard Channing rocked that look so can others. All ruined by those damned tights! Footless tights be gone I say!
Nikki Webster and Sasha Farber
It was only a matter of time before Nikki popped up. In fact, she’s done well to hide from me for this long but I can’t ignore this treasure. It’s all wrong and I love her for it. She’s just the ultimate child star who will never ever be allowed to grow up. Her awful home job hair straightening efforts through to her golden cowboy boots reek of self styling and while yes, after Strawberry Kisses, finances have been tough for Nikki, you can always pick up a Cosmo or Cleo. Look at Mischa, Nicole Ritchie, little Li Lo and copy.
Tiffani Wood
Tiff’s becoming a firm favourite here at HLOD for her wacky ways. I’m still yet to learn what she actually does now but hey, who needs a job to be photographed. I know the crazy tights are in, that’s fine. It’s just let them do the speaking. Don’t pair them with short whory denim skirt with weird brown hemming, mismatching black pumps and black tee with white lace trimming. It’s like a Better Homes and Gardens craft project out of control.
# posted by HLOD : 4:33 PM
