The Harsh Light of Day

Andy G

I am so, so, so over Andy G and he’s need to prove how too cool for school he is. ‘Look at me, I know who Bon Scott is. I hang out with rock stars and I’ve got shaggy hair.’ We get it Andy, you have a cool job! It doesn’t make you cool and by dressing like a Rolling Stone reporter who is ahead of the music curve and then hosting Australian Idol – it just makes you a sad loser.


Antonia Kidman

What an extremely busy week poor Antonia must have had? Big sister comes to town and basically brings with her the entire entertainment media with her. Angela Bishop camped at her doorstep, Nelson ‘Sunrise’ Aspen pretending he is connected enough to know the scoop. She now has to deal with in-laws from Caboolture – ARGH!. Poor Ton’s must have been buggered. It’s still no excuse to wear a tea cosy out of the house. It may sparkle and have pretty flowers and butterflies but it’s a tea cosy plain and simple.


Bessie Bardot

It’s an over baked and colour infused attempt at Audrey Hepburn and I almost like it…almost. Firstly, Bessie needs to stay away from the sun bed, no one believes in June that you are that colour, it’s just not possible. I have a problem with the thick red shoes – they are too heavy, a strappy heel would have worked better without dominating the outfit. But this is all minor deductions that Bessie could have sneaked away with…it’s the bloody Sandra Dee headband. I understand the headband craze is in full sweep at the moment – I’ve seen it enough to know. But it doesn’t match the outfit, the red’s a different red to the shoes, dress and belt. If you’ve gone to enough trouble to match those three – bloody hell, match the damn headband properly.


Jade McRae

Today the lesson here at HLOD is small things make big differences. As with Bessie, this outfit could have been nice…I say nice because the colour isn’t exactly wowing me but that’s more a personal thing. But it all could have been okay…until the Australian Army stepped into the picture. What is that gun strap doing holding up her top? It belongs on a AK-47 as opposed to a delicate evening top. Supporting the troops is fine Jade, that's your personal choice, just don't wear it.


Jai Evans

Wow…this is a whole other level. I can’t decide whether Jai is part of the early guerrilla marketing campaign for Miami Vice or is he paying homage to Vanilla Ice, the Ice, Ice Baby years. Seriously though, do you think he had to duck when entering the room with the fringe that high? And why wear a shirt at all if your going to open it that far.
My other problem is his date who is not only wearing the Bundy Bear as jacket (watch out for drop bears), but the more pressing concern is why are her tights pulled up around her boobs? Is this a new fashion? God I hope not.


Jane Fleming

You know, you have a great body for some one your age, you really do. Fantastic legs, killer abs – there are many good things to work with here. Why then would you choose to dress like a Paddlepop colour is beyond me? I don’t ever recall a time when ice-blue velvet was fashionable and Jane as much as we admire your athletic skills, you are not the person to start a fashion trend. Especially ice-blue velvet.


Lara ‘Bain of My Life’ Bingle

She’s just not letting go of those stockings is she. Another inappropriately teamed dress and shoe/stocking combo from Lara, proves even with a fantastic setup, window dressing can be extremely challenging and not for the faint hearted. Lara although new to red carpet seems to attend anything so she really should be getting it right by now…my patience levels are being severely tested.


Melissa Tkautz

The eighties/early nineties were cruel to many people but for young Melissa, life was at a high point then. A hit single, every week making out with Bruce Samazan, living a fictional street with the easiest spelling ever, Dolly covers every month…it really was the cat’s pyjamas back then. It’s been a tough ride ever since, Paradise Beach, failed single relaunches and now this…look. I think I know what this is though, it’s a girlfriend consoling Melissa at home one night over a bottle of wine saying ‘you are so beautiful, you’d look good in anything, you’d look great in a potato sack you’re so hot’ and Melissa being the literal person she is (read my lips) just went out and bought a potato sack with some sequins.


Nikki Webster

I think Nikki Webster reads Harsh Light of Day, I really do. I think she is right into it and last week’s reference to Best Little Whorehouse in Texas gave her a whole bunch of ideas. Why else would this little poppet wear a corset with breasts hiked that far into her chin? Why else wear jewellery that actually disappears into your cleavage? Why else wear a belt chain from the middle of your belt if not to attract attention to a certain area? Nikki, I wanted to applaud your dedication to the site, it’s nice you’re a fan but this is a site that critiques fashion errors not applauds them. When I was saying how much I loved Dolly Parton in that movie, I was being sarcastic, you know, not really meaning what I said. It’s what grown ups do when they are trying to be funny.


Tiffani Wood

Oh Tiffani Wood, I love you and your unexplainable reason for being photographed at events. Your efforts almost every week continue to amaze and surprise me …I think as a present I might buy you a mirror for your home. Clearly you don’t own one, no one who dresses like this could. Mustard yellow jeans with a matching handbag, mixed with red strips and matching nails and then top it off with a stupid hair piece that three year olds wear to fairy parties. It’s like a lunar eclipse, I don’t want to look ‘cause it will hurt my eyes but I so am going to anyway.