Friday, July 14, 2006
Friday Bacon
On the Menu: ESPY Awards LA
Bacon Degree: The American Brownlow – inappropriately dressed sporting stars and their skanky partners.
I know, I’m breaking all my Friday rules – but these were just too good to pass up. And I’m feeling particularly bitchy today.
Cheryl Flutie (with hubbie Doug)
Apparently Doug is a big time ex-footballer in the US – still that doesn’t excuse his wife and her behaviour. Firstly, it looks like she feel into a giant vat of fake tan – much like the Joker in Batman. Seriously, do people not realise everyone knows about fake tanning salons now, that we are all just gulliblely going to believe you are naturally that colour? Sure! Secondly, my sister’s doing teaching rounds at the moment and working with Grade 2. This dress is what they made when instructed to decorate the classroom like the sea. I keep humming to myself, Under the Sea. Damn Disney addictive musicals!
Christine Taylor
I adore this dress, it’s a stunning colour, shape, length – everything is perfect. It’s so perfectly spring and I want to steal it and wear it to Spring Racing but too late. My problem is and I think it always will be, she looks tiny!! Not healthy busy mum tiny either – it’s I don’t eat ever except for the slice of lettuce leaf I have at the Ivy when eating with Ben so he thinks I do eat. It makes me sad because remember when she was on Friends as Bonnie the bald girl, who was granted a little crazy but stunning enough to make Rachel jealous. That’s a healthy woman not this amazingly dressed eight year old.
Claudia Jordan
This is the kind of glam I so excited to see on red carpet for the Brownlow and whatever the Rugby league equivalent is (Sydney-siders help?). Too much thigh, too much leg, too much breast – much like the chicken in the deli at Coles. It’s a dress that's eerily reminiscent of Lee Furlong’s Vegas show girl getup we lowlighted a few weeks ago. Trash-tastic!
The Neils
When you invite people from WWF this is what you get! This look makes me squeal with excitement. How bad can it be? This bad. With lips the size of her breasts and Pirates of the Caribbean meets Safari print stocking that she’s squeezed into it, it's class all the way and it’s matched equally by his bloated Miami drug runner tanned tuxedo look. This is a dinner party at Palazzo Versace with the locals.
Sam H
Sam is a jock – fine, whatever - and his date, there is nothing particular wrong with her at all except that dress is the worst Supre/Dotti/Glassons dress I’ve ever seen on a red carpet. I actually really think you can by that at Supre, jokes aside. Sweetie, you’re on a red carpet, in Hollywood for Christ’s sakes, spend the money and buy a better dress.
Kate Bosworth
No Kate wasn’t at the ESPY’s, this is from the UK Superman premiere and while I normally steer clear of international celebs and let my girls at Go Fug Yourself take of care of them – I can’t let Kate go on this. WHAT IN THE HELL is this stripper sneaks onto the red carpet look? Sharon Stone wore a dress like this in Basic Instinct and she was a psychotic killer! She’s one step away from Kim Day-Craig – all that’s missing is a g-string. You're in the Queen's country, home of decorum and snotty English attitudes. What happened to the fresh faced girl from that surfing movie, with beautiful skin and the classic girl next door look that I’d kill for? This girl looks like she’s showing up for a porn convention and her character name should Lois Libido Lane.
A Weekend Treat
For those who’ve struggled through the week – dragged themselves out of a warm bed at stupid intolerable hours and mainlined coffee in an effort to appear awake and alert at their desks – I give you this. The Master of Hotness with the heir to the throne. King Matthew and Prince Jake.
See that spot in the middle, right between them, snuggled between the two, forced to fall into their laps every time we turn a corner – that’s mine!
Bacon Degree: The American Brownlow – inappropriately dressed sporting stars and their skanky partners.
I know, I’m breaking all my Friday rules – but these were just too good to pass up. And I’m feeling particularly bitchy today.
Cheryl Flutie (with hubbie Doug)
Apparently Doug is a big time ex-footballer in the US – still that doesn’t excuse his wife and her behaviour. Firstly, it looks like she feel into a giant vat of fake tan – much like the Joker in Batman. Seriously, do people not realise everyone knows about fake tanning salons now, that we are all just gulliblely going to believe you are naturally that colour? Sure! Secondly, my sister’s doing teaching rounds at the moment and working with Grade 2. This dress is what they made when instructed to decorate the classroom like the sea. I keep humming to myself, Under the Sea. Damn Disney addictive musicals!
Christine Taylor
I adore this dress, it’s a stunning colour, shape, length – everything is perfect. It’s so perfectly spring and I want to steal it and wear it to Spring Racing but too late. My problem is and I think it always will be, she looks tiny!! Not healthy busy mum tiny either – it’s I don’t eat ever except for the slice of lettuce leaf I have at the Ivy when eating with Ben so he thinks I do eat. It makes me sad because remember when she was on Friends as Bonnie the bald girl, who was granted a little crazy but stunning enough to make Rachel jealous. That’s a healthy woman not this amazingly dressed eight year old.
Claudia Jordan
This is the kind of glam I so excited to see on red carpet for the Brownlow and whatever the Rugby league equivalent is (Sydney-siders help?). Too much thigh, too much leg, too much breast – much like the chicken in the deli at Coles. It’s a dress that's eerily reminiscent of Lee Furlong’s Vegas show girl getup we lowlighted a few weeks ago. Trash-tastic!
The Neils
When you invite people from WWF this is what you get! This look makes me squeal with excitement. How bad can it be? This bad. With lips the size of her breasts and Pirates of the Caribbean meets Safari print stocking that she’s squeezed into it, it's class all the way and it’s matched equally by his bloated Miami drug runner tanned tuxedo look. This is a dinner party at Palazzo Versace with the locals.
Sam H
Sam is a jock – fine, whatever - and his date, there is nothing particular wrong with her at all except that dress is the worst Supre/Dotti/Glassons dress I’ve ever seen on a red carpet. I actually really think you can by that at Supre, jokes aside. Sweetie, you’re on a red carpet, in Hollywood for Christ’s sakes, spend the money and buy a better dress.
Kate Bosworth
No Kate wasn’t at the ESPY’s, this is from the UK Superman premiere and while I normally steer clear of international celebs and let my girls at Go Fug Yourself take of care of them – I can’t let Kate go on this. WHAT IN THE HELL is this stripper sneaks onto the red carpet look? Sharon Stone wore a dress like this in Basic Instinct and she was a psychotic killer! She’s one step away from Kim Day-Craig – all that’s missing is a g-string. You're in the Queen's country, home of decorum and snotty English attitudes. What happened to the fresh faced girl from that surfing movie, with beautiful skin and the classic girl next door look that I’d kill for? This girl looks like she’s showing up for a porn convention and her character name should Lois Libido Lane.
A Weekend Treat
For those who’ve struggled through the week – dragged themselves out of a warm bed at stupid intolerable hours and mainlined coffee in an effort to appear awake and alert at their desks – I give you this. The Master of Hotness with the heir to the throne. King Matthew and Prince Jake.
See that spot in the middle, right between them, snuggled between the two, forced to fall into their laps every time we turn a corner – that’s mine!
# posted by HLOD : 12:22 PM
