The Harsh Light of Day

Ada N

It’s all so very fashionable to be the weight of a straw right now but are these people ever hungry? I would be - that’s for sure. I don’t mind Ada’s dress at all, the black thing around her waist is a little helicopter-ish but there has been a crash recently on Home and Away, so this could be considered marketing. My problem with this dress is it makes her look like a 12 year old girl who’s at her sister’s 21st.


Bessie Bardot

Bess just doesn’t know when the let go of good thing, does she? It’s not even a good thing – the fake’n’bake look is pretty obvious and the Sandra Dee headband is again inexplicable. Sing it:

‘Sandy you must start anew,
Don’t you know what you must do,
Hold you high, take a deep breath and sigh,
Goodbye to Sandra Dee!!!!!’

And hopefully Bessie’s headband obsession.


Erika Hairnets

Yes, I have to give Erika a pass this time around. I’m in no way impressed by this outfit, but people feel I may be a little Erika prejudice. So while the mismatching fabrics of the top confuse me, and her Beyond the Thunderdome Mad Max vesty thing doesn’t sing to me, I will let Erika pass on by. There’s no way this can last though…


Holly Brisley

A revolting afternoon picnic dress meets Rocky boxing boots with heels?? Holly has been very carefully flying under my radar for the past few weeks, nothing too awful to warrant a HLOD, nothing too brilliant to command a salute. She has this week failed dismally to continue unnoticed. The dress is like a tablecloth off-cut type sack, that has no shape and does nothing for her figure – except to make us realise that a small person is in it because her arms and legs are sticking out.


Indiana Evans

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for adventure dressing. And with Indy being a young poppet, experimentation is the name of the game but this is simply taking all the fashion trends and throwing them on. Belt around waist: check, little ill-functioning sparkly caplet: check, too cool for school print tee: check, black tights/leggings/stockings: check, and finally scrunched boot: check. It’s fashion by numbers. Blah! With the cute boy in the Dunlop Volleys on the arm this could be a Friday night out at the movies for any teeny bopper.


Kelly Smythe - A poem for Kelly's birthday

Kelly, we at HLOD were at a loss
When last you graced our screen
Who was this appalling dresser,
What did she do, where had she been?

You’re a stylist for those at Seven
Phew - that’s a relief to my heart
However, the question remains
Why you always dress like a tart?

Since when did showing the world,
The ladies on continual display
Become a classy or cool thing to do
Never – if only I had it my way!


Michael Tierney

It seriously looks like the end of the school play where the girl who played HOT Sandy has just hooked up with the boy who was serving tea and coffee in intermission. I realise Human Nature have gone all Grandma style and yes, it’s doing wonders for their sales but does Michael have to dress when off duty like a waiter.


Tara Moss

A lot of people I know don’t like Tara Moss, a lot of people I know do like Tara Moss. Two things can be deduced from this: I know lots of people and she’s a divisive lady is Ms. Moss. This is proved in her presented outfit: the dress is lovely and I very much like the contrasting lines. The shoes are very cute and make her legs look fantastically long, as they are. However why, oh why, is she wearing a feather boa? It completely ruins the outfit and her style points are therefore thrown out the window.


Tom and Chris

My old love and my new love. I will be the very first to admit, I swooned like a 12 year old girl when Tom took it off on Dancing. My face was pressed to the screen and my breath literally caught in my throat. What a body, what a man! I think from that moment on, Tom’s been fighting against himself. Ugly break-ups, losing to Ada in the Champions rematch, it’s been tough for Tommy boy. Maybe he’s been taking solace in the bevies because Tom’s certainly a little…um…puffier. This is also not helped with the school boy tie and vest, pulled across his once rock hard tum. Also standing next to my new lover boy Chris is never a good thing. You just don’t compare at the moment.

For those playing along at home – Chris solo, no Isabel. Oh yeah!


Toni Pearen

This is going to seem awfully picky but it’s my job (if only it was really my job – how much fun would I have?). This dress is great, cute colour, right shape and cut, well matched shoes – it’s all there. But I’ve seen it before, and Toni, I’ve seen you in it before. On this site in fact! I believe it suffered a bad comment because of a lumpy overcoat and I really commend you for taking the coat off but you just can’t wear it again. Especially so close to the first wear. For every hour that you wear the outfit, that’s how many months you have to wait to wear it again. So I’m guessing at fashion week you were there for about 3 hours – I don’t want to see this dress again for at least three months. No if's, no but's and no maybes.