The Harsh Light of Day

Amanda F

It’s my favourite time of year…football awards time across the nation. And with every footballer comes every aspiring starlet who wants to show just a little too much flesh in effort to make newspaper pages. Well Amanda is no different, this back baring number is clearly designed to grab attention of oo’s and aah’s. Only problem it’s a little to much like Chris Judd’s side dish from two years ago. Been there, flashed that.


Bessie Bardot

One compliment I can give to Bessie is her consistency. Girl’s got a theme and she’s sticking to it, come hell or high water. Another mid knee length skirt with strapless top and standard pulled back hair. She seems to have this time maybe tried to change though – she literally has thrown a towel from the bathroom over the shoulders in an effort to hide from me. I’m too good for that!


Claire H

Holy momma Claire certainly is bringing the ladies out tonight. Hopefully she got a ticket for them both cause I’m don’t know if she could squeeze them all onto one seat. It’s an incredibly interesting dress, and not interesting as unique and stylish, more interesting like a magic eye. I also worry about the circulation in her legs. When laces are that tight – muscle atrophy can often result.


Unknown Dally M Lady

I think our unknown friend here is confused. She’s a week ahead of her dressing schedule. This is the outfit she should be wearing on the Hawaii theme night for the boys end of season trip. Why else would one be wearing a bikini with tassles to a formal function? The only other option is her shift finished early at the Spearmint Rhino.


Jane Fleming

Well, at least Jane’s out of the crushed velvet in horrific colours. However in her rush back to black to try and redeem herself, clearly there is still a way to go. Any denim jacket that has been attacked by a glue gun and sprinkles should be avoided at all costs. And stealing shoes from the Witches of Eastwick set is never a good idea. Long way to go Jane, long way.


Kate Fischer

You have to ask yourself how well your career’s going when you are standing on an empty red carpet, with no one looking on, in front of a Hungry Jacks. If you can’t even attract attention from the bums and winos then it’s time to call the agent. And what’s even worse, Kate’s running behind the bandwagon of fashion and picking up whatever trend’s been thrown off. Cork shoe heels – check, pattern stockings – check, black dress with unique tying up method – check.


Kathryn Eisman

A misplaced salute to Andre Agassi? A game of netball run over time? Kathryn Eisman baffles with this number here. The black shirt and red jacket aren’t bad but the teaming with a netball skirt? I simply can’t explain it! Also Kathryn’s posture problems continue – stand up straight woman! Another tip – when your clothes match the background, move away.


Lee Furlong

Lee is trying, she really is. The dress is far better but honey, darling, sweetie – I write this blog to yes, mock and laugh at you but also to help, so you know what everyone’s wearing, so you know what to avoid. Sophie Faulkiner, Logies, this year. I even commented on it! Do you have to come back to Harsh Light school for a refresher course?


Sam Worthington’s friend

There is a deep love of Sam Worthington. A love of a moody man, a love of a man in scrubs. That love does not however extend to his badly dressed friend (see how I’m scaling that one down?). Yes, vests were briefly in but actually vests from the eighties. Yes, skirts are good cause spring’s coming but not a skirt made from the carpet of local RSL. Yes, tights were in but not with open toed shoes and heels that a twelve year old would wear on her first night out.


Tara Moss

Here is definitely one way to get people to read your book. Dress like a saucy dominatrix and threaten them with looks of sizzling fire. Seriously though Miss Moss, isn’t this type of attention dressing a little desperate? In fact, it’s a lot desperate. This outfit doesn’t make me think author extraordinary, I makes me think ‘how much for the night?’