Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Mistakes are so easy
In a pre-post message, I have to say snaparazzi photographers of the world, really Melbourne - I'm so disappointed. Monday morning, I go digging for my expected massive round of up Caulfield Cup and what do I find, nothing, zero, zilch, the same quantity of Paris' brain cells. Where are my over the top fascinators, where are my drunken general public, where are my stars confused about covering the ta-tas up? WHERE. This isn't a good start to Spring Racing Carnival. I expect better of you next week for Cox's Plate.
Ali M
‘There is always something there to remind me.’ Sing it loud and sing it proud. I try to be helpful and offer advice for not only the entertainment value of our readers but to save young starlets from themselves. I can’t help it if they feel compelled to repeat cardinal sins that people committed only a week ago *cough Bianca Dye cough*. My personal favourite thing about this shot is the handbag thrown down in disgust on the floor next to Ali. Twenty dollars says it’s her publicist, who after having begged the entire car trip for Ali to go home and change, has just had a tanti and stormed off muttering under her breath something about ‘vomit dresses’.
Angela Bishop
It can’t be easy starting with those Bronwyn genetics and so I often look at Angela and try to think pleasant thoughts. My mental power isn’t that strong today. For some one who is like myself, a little top heavy, carrying some extra luggage, holding the ladies aloft – in no way does dressing in a loose fitting black sack help disguise this. Especially if you pair it with a skin tight white skirt, with reflective stockings and with Witches of Eastwick pointy shoes. Yes, Ange take another big sip of the Chardy then scamper, don’t walk, home.
Annalise B
In this new world things just get curiouser and curiouser, Alice wondered to herself. Alice (Annalise) also wondered on her trip down the rabbit hole when they started serving wine. The thought faded as she contemplated why she was perched on the oversized white chair next an orange box with candles. Alice also thought about the carpet and how it seemed to move, or perhaps that was because of the wine the rabbit handed her. But most of all, what troubled Alice the most in this new Wonderland, was where had her feet gone?
Antonia Kidman
Oh Christ Thank God! It’s been a tough week for the extended Kidman family – poor Keith, one too many benefits with Nicole will do that to the best of people. Still Antonia, who I long feared as lost to the fashion devils of the world, manages to look GREAT. It’s a flattering dress, makes her look super tall and tiny (the woman is pregnant – yes I know!) and the shoes are perfect sensible mum heels. If this is a hormonal pregnant glitch that means she dresses well only when up the duff, you can understand why she’s on kiddie number four.
Bella
Lovely little Bella in her ‘I’m a woman’ dress. Two things really bother me about this – firstly, and this is purely just me but you know what I get to decide….sorry back to firstly, I miss her glasses. There’s just something about Bella and her glasses, she looks intelligent and chic and sophisticated and not at all like so many cooker cutter blondes. Secondly, and probably more relevant to Bella and those in her near vicinity, leftie breast is about make a run for it out the side door.
Fiona Faulkiner
Better, not brilliant but better. I absolutely think the ribbon around the waist doesn’t need to be there, only reminds people you have one - a waist that is. But from recent performances this is a step back to safer ground. My concern regarding Fiona is her appearance at everything. Like dating, if you're too available then no one wants you. That’s true right?? Right? Cause if not I’ve been doing something soooo wrong. Hmm, maybe I’ll think about that for awhile.
Gwyndolene
Right off the bat we can tell Gwyn is a fashion designer. How you say? Her clothes have absolutely no practical application in the real world. If this were a Lord of the Rings convention and she was going as Liv Tyler’s character then man, she’d win hands down. But as evening gown goes it’s a little too elves of the forest for my liking. Still being an elf got Liv to the hottest of hot Viggo Mortensen, so there’s a plus side.
Kerri-Anne Kennerley
OH MY GOD, this is the new Kaftan. It’s began on the back of Mrs Doug Flutie (not a made up name - check the archives for Mrs Flutie) in America and was referenced as Grade 3 under the sea project gone bad, and then we saw Katie Walsh try and youth it up at the Brownlow and now Kerri-Anne, ever on the cutting edge of fashion reminds us again how bad this outfit is! The most unflattering Little Mermaid stopped at the trailer park dress, it screams Surfer’s Paradise School Dinner Dance. People back away from this dress!
Laura C
Hello Laura and her ladies! The outfit is totally and utterly dominated by the two uninvited guests that Laura brought with her. And yes, they’re uninvited! No invitation I’ve ever seen says:
Dear Laura and your breasts,
You are all invited to come out for a celebration.
Susie Maroney
For an athlete it’s all fine and plain sailing dandy until …until…I don’t think I can say it. Until you reach her feet and come across the ugliest pair of shoes I’ve ever seen. And I love shoes people, I mean shoes and me go way back. But these shoes are an offence to other shoes, they taint other shoes with their hideous-ness. It’s like a cross between a reef sandal and a clog and a Geisha thong.
Tiffani
Almost there Tiff, almost back to your mad cap best. Like any good d-grader your five weeks past the celebrity trend. The one I hate, loathe and despise. The shapeless, sheet kaftan – for women who want to look like they rolled themselves in a fabric at Spotlight and then pinned it back with a bulldog clip. However credit where credit is due, vast improvement Tiff on the hair and accessories. Gone are the wacky curls and headpieces. What fun those days were.
Tom Williams
‘Alright ladies, stick ‘em up. I’m a gangsta! I’m real tough too, and my black shirt and black tie say so. And if the black on black on black doesn’t tell you I mean business, then watch out for my hat. That’s right it’s a HAT! And no just any trucker cap ladies, it’s a man’s hat, a smooth, whiskey drinking, jive cat jumping man’s HAT. And I’m wearin’ it. So while I smoke my cigars and listen to the cool beats of the day, you tell Fabretti I’m looking for him, and he owes Tommy a few Benjamins!
Ali M‘There is always something there to remind me.’ Sing it loud and sing it proud. I try to be helpful and offer advice for not only the entertainment value of our readers but to save young starlets from themselves. I can’t help it if they feel compelled to repeat cardinal sins that people committed only a week ago *cough Bianca Dye cough*. My personal favourite thing about this shot is the handbag thrown down in disgust on the floor next to Ali. Twenty dollars says it’s her publicist, who after having begged the entire car trip for Ali to go home and change, has just had a tanti and stormed off muttering under her breath something about ‘vomit dresses’.
Angela Bishop
It can’t be easy starting with those Bronwyn genetics and so I often look at Angela and try to think pleasant thoughts. My mental power isn’t that strong today. For some one who is like myself, a little top heavy, carrying some extra luggage, holding the ladies aloft – in no way does dressing in a loose fitting black sack help disguise this. Especially if you pair it with a skin tight white skirt, with reflective stockings and with Witches of Eastwick pointy shoes. Yes, Ange take another big sip of the Chardy then scamper, don’t walk, home.
Annalise B
In this new world things just get curiouser and curiouser, Alice wondered to herself. Alice (Annalise) also wondered on her trip down the rabbit hole when they started serving wine. The thought faded as she contemplated why she was perched on the oversized white chair next an orange box with candles. Alice also thought about the carpet and how it seemed to move, or perhaps that was because of the wine the rabbit handed her. But most of all, what troubled Alice the most in this new Wonderland, was where had her feet gone?
Antonia Kidman
Oh Christ Thank God! It’s been a tough week for the extended Kidman family – poor Keith, one too many benefits with Nicole will do that to the best of people. Still Antonia, who I long feared as lost to the fashion devils of the world, manages to look GREAT. It’s a flattering dress, makes her look super tall and tiny (the woman is pregnant – yes I know!) and the shoes are perfect sensible mum heels. If this is a hormonal pregnant glitch that means she dresses well only when up the duff, you can understand why she’s on kiddie number four.
Bella
Lovely little Bella in her ‘I’m a woman’ dress. Two things really bother me about this – firstly, and this is purely just me but you know what I get to decide….sorry back to firstly, I miss her glasses. There’s just something about Bella and her glasses, she looks intelligent and chic and sophisticated and not at all like so many cooker cutter blondes. Secondly, and probably more relevant to Bella and those in her near vicinity, leftie breast is about make a run for it out the side door.
Fiona Faulkiner
Better, not brilliant but better. I absolutely think the ribbon around the waist doesn’t need to be there, only reminds people you have one - a waist that is. But from recent performances this is a step back to safer ground. My concern regarding Fiona is her appearance at everything. Like dating, if you're too available then no one wants you. That’s true right?? Right? Cause if not I’ve been doing something soooo wrong. Hmm, maybe I’ll think about that for awhile.
Gwyndolene
Right off the bat we can tell Gwyn is a fashion designer. How you say? Her clothes have absolutely no practical application in the real world. If this were a Lord of the Rings convention and she was going as Liv Tyler’s character then man, she’d win hands down. But as evening gown goes it’s a little too elves of the forest for my liking. Still being an elf got Liv to the hottest of hot Viggo Mortensen, so there’s a plus side.
Kerri-Anne Kennerley
OH MY GOD, this is the new Kaftan. It’s began on the back of Mrs Doug Flutie (not a made up name - check the archives for Mrs Flutie) in America and was referenced as Grade 3 under the sea project gone bad, and then we saw Katie Walsh try and youth it up at the Brownlow and now Kerri-Anne, ever on the cutting edge of fashion reminds us again how bad this outfit is! The most unflattering Little Mermaid stopped at the trailer park dress, it screams Surfer’s Paradise School Dinner Dance. People back away from this dress!
Laura CHello Laura and her ladies! The outfit is totally and utterly dominated by the two uninvited guests that Laura brought with her. And yes, they’re uninvited! No invitation I’ve ever seen says:
Dear Laura and your breasts,
You are all invited to come out for a celebration.
Susie Maroney
For an athlete it’s all fine and plain sailing dandy until …until…I don’t think I can say it. Until you reach her feet and come across the ugliest pair of shoes I’ve ever seen. And I love shoes people, I mean shoes and me go way back. But these shoes are an offence to other shoes, they taint other shoes with their hideous-ness. It’s like a cross between a reef sandal and a clog and a Geisha thong.
TiffaniAlmost there Tiff, almost back to your mad cap best. Like any good d-grader your five weeks past the celebrity trend. The one I hate, loathe and despise. The shapeless, sheet kaftan – for women who want to look like they rolled themselves in a fabric at Spotlight and then pinned it back with a bulldog clip. However credit where credit is due, vast improvement Tiff on the hair and accessories. Gone are the wacky curls and headpieces. What fun those days were.
Tom Williams
‘Alright ladies, stick ‘em up. I’m a gangsta! I’m real tough too, and my black shirt and black tie say so. And if the black on black on black doesn’t tell you I mean business, then watch out for my hat. That’s right it’s a HAT! And no just any trucker cap ladies, it’s a man’s hat, a smooth, whiskey drinking, jive cat jumping man’s HAT. And I’m wearin’ it. So while I smoke my cigars and listen to the cool beats of the day, you tell Fabretti I’m looking for him, and he owes Tommy a few Benjamins!
# posted by HLOD : 4:14 PM
