The Harsh Light of Day

Anthony Callea

‘Hey ladies what’s up? That’s right the C man is back and with my tough as nails new haircut no one is going to mention midget again in my presence. I think these dog tags also bring the butch back. So does my one shoulder top, it’s so bitchin’ and really shows off my awesome décolletage – what are guys not supposed to have that?’


Bic Runga

Look, I’m sure this was a perfectly normal and acceptable dress – I’m sure it was beautiful and very now but I, and the entire nation will never know because Bic decided that a heavy winter overcoat was the accessory of the day. Seriously every photo looks like some demented Fletcher David catalogue, I’m just waiting for the point and nod shot.


Chloe D

When you have a smoking hot I’m a dancer body, the temptation to show it off must be great. However wearing a shredded black wool ball with a silk bed spread is not the best way to show off your hotness. Besides the outfit, I also question the event – yes, there are certainly some stupid musicals but Titanic, come ON! I bet the show stopping iceberg number is a real foot tapper! And the drowning sequence must have the audience applauding for more.


David Campbell

Daylight Saving’s threw a lot of people off, David clearly was spun out not only by an hour but by a whole week. A possible preview of your Cup outfit is not required David. Although, I’d loose the Top Gun shades and the security pass some firmly around your neck. It only reminds people that you’re so D list even security don’t know your face.


Dorothy the Dinosaur

I love it. Spots are so very in right now, and the hat matches so very well with the gloves. I do question the lack of lippie but seriously those smackers must be hard to cover.


Erica Baxter

While the Idols copped a lot of dirty looks and speech bitch slaps, I’m sure no one pointed the finger at Erica. With Jamie sitting so snugly by her ‘we are not really dating’ side, Erica looked like her single sounded – decidedly average and something we’ve seen before. This outfit has the strongest echoes of Bec Cartwright’s Logies dress that was hiding a little Mia bump two years ago.









Girlband and Human Nature









After Girlband saw that the only successful group act these days was Human Nature, out comes the matching Nanna appealing outfits, lessening the revealing clothing and spunky attitude. Wild crazy rock curls are gone, and in their place demure straightened girls. AKA It’s a bridal party.

While the boys clearly weren’t afraid to look like school nerds in front of the cool kids like Wolfmother and Bernard Fanning. The completely matching outfits are so wrong, but in a way I kind of admire they’re out and out take me as I am approach. And maybe everyone knew this and I am behind the times but one of my first teeny bopper crushes Toby in the speech, he loves Warren. Awwwh. Let’s have a Lance Bass style cover – I’m OUT!



Gretel K

Tonight Gretel’s appearance is sponsored by Target and their new brand ‘five months and four hundred dollars behind the trend.’ As Gretel demonstrates, with the too short boots, the weird unfitting white pants and nightie/evening top it’s just way past the fashion and way cheaper than anything she should wear on the red carpet.


Guy Sebastian

Okay we all know Guy dresses like a Miami Vice reject but you know what, I’ve accepted his fascination with white. I’ll deal with it and move on. I more concerned with Jules. I often make references to people who look like they’re wearing a sheet. But I think Jules is actually wearing a sheet, like seriously wrapped up the queen sheet from her hotel. I know dating a virgin for so long must be hard but come on Jules, there’s no need to try and get his attention so publicly.


Jacqui O

Jacqui was asked on the red carpet if this number was vintage and she sadly said no, it was made for her. Whatever she did to that designer clearly stung them badly cause this First Communion outfit isn’t a winner. Maybe it was because she didn’t go for any fittings, which is clearly evident by her oversized sleeves. And PS those shoes are …well…just horrible.


Jade Macrae

I kind of like, I kind of hate it – I’m tricky like that, imagine dating me! On the plus side, the sparkly short dress is perfect for Jade’s little legs. On the other hand, the despise the slick back do that says I haven’t washed my hair in days. Also the bizarre rope tie hanging around her waist that provides no help or hindrance to outfit, just makes it look stupid!


Jamie Brooskby

Dumb and slutter! Hey question for you Jamie, where’s Katie? What happened to all this, I’ve changed, I’m a better man stuff. Just proves the point that boys talk shit. On the fact that he’s continued wearing a headband and his stupid fingerless gloves proves how dumb this boy is.


Jesse McCartney

Where Wolfmother looked cool with the vest and black pant ensemble, Jesse looks like a twelve year old girl. Then with his shiny new combat boots that look to have served as much time as George W. served, Jesse is the ultimate wannabe cool rocker boy that is a teen prince in disguise.


Katy S

You know, I’m all for cool dressing. I’m all for rock stars dressing like rock stars and being individual and stretching the fashion rules. However, looking like the shift change at the Gentlemen’s Gallery means you could make the event isn’t cool.


Marcia Hines

What? I simple do not get Marcia Hines and her dress sense. If anyone could explain how, in the dressing room, after wrestling this contraception over her head and finally smoothing her hair over, did Marcia look in the mirror and go ‘great, this is a hot outfit and I look really nice’. How?


Sarah Blasko

Again, I completely understand people’s need to be cool. I completely understand people’s desire to show their uniqueness. I do not understand the need to dress like an eighty year old librarian. First of all, don’t you think she looks really hot? And not in a Paris ‘that’s so hot’ way but a heavy sack, sweating till you loose 5kgs hot. I also get a little Sound of Music feeling here. But maybe that’s me …I do embrace the feeling often.


Stephanie McIntosh

Before the world rolls of its axis, and the oceans freeze over and Tom Cruise admits Scientology is just crap, I’ll have to admit it. Stephanie looks pretty good (for Stephanie). She’s picked something that doesn’t accentuate her waist, she’s wearing decent shoes, the colours almost match and her hair isn’t terrible wrong. Okay, okay so it’s a bit high, and she is basically wearing a jumper but hey it could be worse, she could have exposed her self to a national television audience forcing another resignation from Video Hits. Not mentioning any names *cough* Axle *cough*.


Young Divas

I think if the Young Divas just went out every night, I’d never have to worry about the social scene drying up. Ricki Lee and Paulini, walk away. Of course they could do better but come on, compared to what’s next to them, it passable.

Kate D – Are you trying to dress big? Seriously, you’re not Casey Donovan, you’re not Nicole Richie either but why oh why do you persist on dressing three times your size. Like ruffles ever, made anyone, look slim.

Emily – Is there a Victor/Victoria audition on, did you want to give all the drag queens a head start for mardi gras. Cause at the moment you look more butch than Guy Sebastian.