Thursday, January 11, 2007
The Invasion Continues and it Ain't Pretty
It's a deathly, deathly quiet time of year, so excuse the not so spot on fashion critique. It's more a social commentary than a direct fashion salvo. Let's all pray, that the Aus Open brings with it, a barrage of inappropriately dressed sport stars and Bec and Mia in a rotating wheel of outfits.
In other news, if you like a sweet to the sour of Harsh Light, have a look at Being Brave on a Sunday - the link is to your right.
Andy Roddick & The Poo & Shannon ‘I Stripped for One Dumb Movie and Now Have Completely Rested on My Laurels – in fact I’m Asleep on My Laurels’ Elizabeth
A: I don’t get it man, I seriously don’t.
M: Me either, like what in the hell is going on?
A: I know, how is it possible for Crown to do this?
M: What? Are you staying here at Crown? Crap, can I bunk in with you then?
A: No way dude, I’m Shara-poving it this week. Where are you staying man?
M: The Formula 21 motel thing, you know right near the airport. It’s cool though, the dude who I’m sharing rooms with has some ‘special’ stuff and cause I’m injured I’m not being drug tested, it’s like Jamaica time.
A: Sure, hope that works out for you. Hey what happened to the 12 year old you had hanging around last year?
M: Oh, she was failing Sixth Grade and her parents didn’t think I could provide well enough – I mean come on…
S: Um, excuse me guys, we’re playing a really important game here and I’m good at it so shut up.
M: Whatever, who’s turn is it?
S: It’s mine, does anyone have a four?
A: Go Fish.
M: Yeah, it’s fishing time.
Dannii Minogue
Must look interested in this bat and ball thing, must appear friendly and chatty and care about Australian media. Come on Dannii, focus on the task at hand, focus, focus. Made many bad career choices like dumping Julian’s ass – could be swanning around Hollywood as his Nip/Tuckette now. Tried to become my sister – she got cancer though and I’ve become her spokesperson. Agreed to host some crappy Seven show – maybe I could turn myself into the new Cat Deeley. I am just as annoying!
Lara Bingle
Wow, I mean, seriously wow. No, don’t panic, I’m not talking about her outfit, I’m talking about her catastrophic desire to sleep with every sports star from every discipline. It’s a goal setting New Year publicity grab attempt and in a way, you almost, ALMOST have to admire her capacity to completely ruin her own career. Thorpey seriously better watch his back, she hasn’t done a swimmer yet and Bingers is turning 2007 into the year of sleeping around.
Michaela Banas
Generally, I don’t mind a bit of Micky. She’s cute and structured on McLeod’s and a little nutty and had a lovely ending when the Vet realised he did in fact love her (what? McLeod’s is a good show! Okay it’s not but Aaron Jeffery’s still looks good in a cowboy hat! And I also like to support Australian drama. Okay so the new boys are pretty cute too, so what!) Still, rocking up to the cricket in this ensemble, Micky’s not winning any fans. Do you think she copped some interesting looks from people when lining up for the bathroom? I know I would have!
Shannon Elizabeth
After her taxing game of Fish, Shannon Elizabeth gets up to reveal a stunning…K-Mart ensemble! Wow, the sales were really good to her huh? Shoes on sale $9.95…Jeans marked down to $12.95…Top a special $15.95…knowing you’re career is in a nosedive that nothing short of a switch to actual porn (as opposed to the soft core American Pie) will solve.
Sarita Stella and Brodie Holland
Dumb and Dumber. There is so much to say about these too but really, I stand by my first statement. Dumb and Dumber
PS. Sarita, could you please allow more time to get ready next event, I know it’s summer and it was hot yesterday but finish blow drying your hair please.
Tara Reid
Oh God Lord. The Apocalypse can’t be far off! First Paris and now Tara!!! While I applaud the boys behind Bondi Beer because in stunt PR it was pretty good and yes, Paris’ wash display on Bondi Beach was shown around the world therefore garnering brand recognition. It has however a downside. Any two bit marketing agency will now recommend hiring of crappy famous because I’m a drunk celebrities to launch stuff. Case in point: Tara Reid is here to launch some magical festival in Brisbane. I suppose the term BrisVegas was never more true.
Following up her stunning pink track suited arrival, Tara hops into this candy pink number for the launch. It’s eerily reminiscent of Amy P from the Brownlow Night with two major differences. Firstly, you could actually drive the Ghan Train through the cleavage – it’s like her breasts have had a major fight and are running in opposite directions to get away from each other. Secondly, and Stephanie McIntosh this one is for you, that blonde Barbie stringy hair just cheapens everything!
In other news, if you like a sweet to the sour of Harsh Light, have a look at Being Brave on a Sunday - the link is to your right.
Andy Roddick & The Poo & Shannon ‘I Stripped for One Dumb Movie and Now Have Completely Rested on My Laurels – in fact I’m Asleep on My Laurels’ Elizabeth
A: I don’t get it man, I seriously don’t.
M: Me either, like what in the hell is going on?
A: I know, how is it possible for Crown to do this?
M: What? Are you staying here at Crown? Crap, can I bunk in with you then?
A: No way dude, I’m Shara-poving it this week. Where are you staying man?
M: The Formula 21 motel thing, you know right near the airport. It’s cool though, the dude who I’m sharing rooms with has some ‘special’ stuff and cause I’m injured I’m not being drug tested, it’s like Jamaica time.
A: Sure, hope that works out for you. Hey what happened to the 12 year old you had hanging around last year?
M: Oh, she was failing Sixth Grade and her parents didn’t think I could provide well enough – I mean come on…
S: Um, excuse me guys, we’re playing a really important game here and I’m good at it so shut up.
M: Whatever, who’s turn is it?
S: It’s mine, does anyone have a four?
A: Go Fish.
M: Yeah, it’s fishing time.
Dannii Minogue
Must look interested in this bat and ball thing, must appear friendly and chatty and care about Australian media. Come on Dannii, focus on the task at hand, focus, focus. Made many bad career choices like dumping Julian’s ass – could be swanning around Hollywood as his Nip/Tuckette now. Tried to become my sister – she got cancer though and I’ve become her spokesperson. Agreed to host some crappy Seven show – maybe I could turn myself into the new Cat Deeley. I am just as annoying!
Lara Bingle
Wow, I mean, seriously wow. No, don’t panic, I’m not talking about her outfit, I’m talking about her catastrophic desire to sleep with every sports star from every discipline. It’s a goal setting New Year publicity grab attempt and in a way, you almost, ALMOST have to admire her capacity to completely ruin her own career. Thorpey seriously better watch his back, she hasn’t done a swimmer yet and Bingers is turning 2007 into the year of sleeping around.
Michaela Banas
Generally, I don’t mind a bit of Micky. She’s cute and structured on McLeod’s and a little nutty and had a lovely ending when the Vet realised he did in fact love her (what? McLeod’s is a good show! Okay it’s not but Aaron Jeffery’s still looks good in a cowboy hat! And I also like to support Australian drama. Okay so the new boys are pretty cute too, so what!) Still, rocking up to the cricket in this ensemble, Micky’s not winning any fans. Do you think she copped some interesting looks from people when lining up for the bathroom? I know I would have!
Shannon Elizabeth
After her taxing game of Fish, Shannon Elizabeth gets up to reveal a stunning…K-Mart ensemble! Wow, the sales were really good to her huh? Shoes on sale $9.95…Jeans marked down to $12.95…Top a special $15.95…knowing you’re career is in a nosedive that nothing short of a switch to actual porn (as opposed to the soft core American Pie) will solve.
Sarita Stella and Brodie Holland
Dumb and Dumber. There is so much to say about these too but really, I stand by my first statement. Dumb and Dumber
PS. Sarita, could you please allow more time to get ready next event, I know it’s summer and it was hot yesterday but finish blow drying your hair please.
Tara Reid
Oh God Lord. The Apocalypse can’t be far off! First Paris and now Tara!!! While I applaud the boys behind Bondi Beer because in stunt PR it was pretty good and yes, Paris’ wash display on Bondi Beach was shown around the world therefore garnering brand recognition. It has however a downside. Any two bit marketing agency will now recommend hiring of crappy famous because I’m a drunk celebrities to launch stuff. Case in point: Tara Reid is here to launch some magical festival in Brisbane. I suppose the term BrisVegas was never more true.
Following up her stunning pink track suited arrival, Tara hops into this candy pink number for the launch. It’s eerily reminiscent of Amy P from the Brownlow Night with two major differences. Firstly, you could actually drive the Ghan Train through the cleavage – it’s like her breasts have had a major fight and are running in opposite directions to get away from each other. Secondly, and Stephanie McIntosh this one is for you, that blonde Barbie stringy hair just cheapens everything!
# posted by HLOD : 11:26 AM
