Sunday, April 01, 2007
It's Hard Being Pretty
Does anyone smell that? Seriously? Yes, that's right people, it smells like Logies time isn't too far away. And you know what that means, it will be my first year anniversary. I think I'll get myself flowers and take myself out for dinner. I think I'm getting pretty serious.
Anneleise Subert
Why, oh, why does Anneleise every week take a perfectly normal, could be lovely dress and just ruin it with crap. Without fail, she takes the dress and stomps on its potential. Beats the potential down like a Ukraine swim coach. Here what could have been a simple and elegant black dress with a nice pair of strappy black heels is instead accompanied by sheer hosiery that mother’s believe all good girls must wear, and the daggy court shoes. If only there was a fashion injunction for this type of crime!
Bella Servanti
Oh dear Bella my darling, this is not good. This is Lee Furlong, Vegas show girl, with big dirty blonde roots bad. This is tummy widening, earring un-matching bad. And poor old Evan’s just been dragged along for the ride. No Bella, no.
Charlotte Dawson
Charlotte’s obviously new back to the scene. She’s still learning the ropes a little and I think, in her eagerness to impress us all with her social skills, she may just be lying to her stylist. She may, in this skinny, oh so skinny world have dropped a few dress sizes in name, but not actually. This is two weeks running that Charlotte is letting the ladies go for a wander. Last week it was out the front, this week it’s a side step. Cop to the truth Charlotte and your ladies and I would be very grateful.
Candice Falzon
How Candy, can stand there and look seriously at the camera is mark of her potential as an actress. Because my, oh my, oh my, is that not the trashiest, ugliest, Ice Capades dress you’ve ever seen. She must be in on the joke, she must be hiding some beautiful number for later when she can chuckle heartily about how all those paps believed her and her ugly dress. Candy, please tell me you are in on the joke?
Erika Hairnets
Well, Erika, colour me shocked. That’s two weeks running, that you’ve fronted up looking, delightful and lovely and elegant and I’m thrilled. Although this is of course all said through gritted teeth, as I wait, with a pretty confident mind, that the other shoe will shortly drop and you shall return to the dark days of fashion. Unless, with the switch to a music career, your fashion sense has also switched.
Erin McNaught
I know it must be hard for Erin, to keep her fifteen minutes just ticking and I think we are beginning to see the effects of the stretch. Firstly, the Katies Formal Wear dress is probably enjoying being on the red carpet as it never usually gets there. Secondly, the make up is less that supreme. Unless, you’re attending an 80’s night Erin, blue eye shadow ain’t never going to be cool. And again, with the haphazard, wannabe hair style. It’s all a signal to a downward slide into obscurity.
Jodi Gordon
For those that believe I am heartless, and there are a few of you. Let it be said, that no, I can from time to time, find something beating away in there. Jodi has had a tremendously tough run recently, both on screen and off. Poor Martha’s stripping in Summer Bay (the tragedy being the stripper clothes are pink lycra – awful!) and poor Jodi’s beautiful boyfriend just past away to adult leukemia. For her to be standing is a feat itself, for her to look presentable is amazing. Bravo Jodi, you just keep putting your best foot forward and we at Harsh Light wish you the best.
Kelly Smythe
When Kell's first popped across my radar, she seemed to have a fascination with getting ladies front and centre and it’s good to see Kell’s is consistent. What again, could have been a nice dress and a sexy little ensemble has turned into, I stole my sister’s ID and squeezed into her dress and we’re going to pick up some guys and get wasted, wanna come? And for those who’ve seen Can’t Buy Me Love, borrowing people’s clothes can only end badly – well cheerleader prostitution with the hot considerate nerd Patrick Dempsey isn’t too bad really but it’s the moral of the story.
Kate Waterhouse
Look Kate, I know you’re from a horse racing family and Gai still probably asks you to pop down to the stables and do some further work from time to time. But I’m sure, between all that scooping and shovelling that there is time to drop off the saddle at home and not bring it with you to the next event.
Michelle
See this is another prime example of what happens with an athletic person, attempts fashion. It’s almost like all that running and pumping and lifting and jogging have affected their power of recognising an awful outfit. An outfit that gives Michelle, the shoulders of Chinese swimmer, while also making her look slightly like a transvestite. This completely explains why I don’t exercise at all. Damn though, I look good.
Melissa Doyle
Here’s what I don’t understand about Mel, she’s a hottie. She’s a yummy mummy, looks pretty good with the highlighted bob and rocks the chair next to Kochie. This being said, she continues her campaign to became of a part of the Sound of Music revival. This outfit is Maria prior to her leaving the abbey. Like Maria left the abbey and found Christopher Plummer, Mel please leave the abbey and find fashion.
Megan Gale
My gift is my song! And this one’s for you! This week everyone is stamping their efforts in casting themselves as parts in revivals. Meg’s clearly is waiting to perform an Elephant Love Medley with Ewan McGregor. Did she actually steal that dress from Baz Luhrman, cause he might want it back? Although Megs, I will say this – Andy Lee is a very lucky man, if those ladies get brought to bed every night.
Natalie Barr
By far the best on ground this week. Elegant, classy, groomed, well fitted, perfect colour, the satin isn't creased, the hair is spot on. It’s all happiness and love from me and I applaud Miss Barr and ask her a massive favour. Spread the word at Seven about good dressing, hell even spread the word at Sunrise, Mel could use your help.
Natalie G
From a good Natalie to a bad Natalie. It’s all wrong here and it’s so bad because it could really be all right. The dress doesn’t fit properly and this is further highlighted by her happy me hands on hips pose. The hemline cuts her nice and tight smack across her knee area making Nat look wide, and her stringy Barbie doll hair is a mess. No puns or laughs here, just fix it Nat. Now.
Pauline Hanson
This is just so special, I don’t think there are words. In fact, how does one critique or comment on a matching blue and orange, tiger and panther print suit with paper clips as button clasps with a matching ice blue cami underneath. I think by merely repeating those words, that’s all the comment I need to make.
Sophie Faulkiner
Sophie is becoming the Liz Hurley of Australia. No, she hasn’t been holding over the top, money wasting, stupid to the point of hilarious Indian weddings in every continent, that I know of anyway. But she’s decided to lock into the same tried and true red carpet style. Like Kimberley Davies locally, it’s a corseted dress, vibrant colour and sexy slashing. Problem is, it’s completely boring, I know exactly what to expect and how I’m expecting to get it. Go crazy Soph, maybe wear black! Or put your hair up! Think way outside the box, then get back to me.
Terri Bivano
I’m sure this is a lovely dress and I don’t see a belt so points for that Terri. The colour is probably really nice too and the length could be good. The reason I seem so vague about all this, is I can’t actually see the dress, not behind the blinding, light reflecting, retina sapping ORANGE. Did Terri sit in a barrel of Fanta for the entire day leading up to the event? If so, maybe she should speak to Coco-Cola Amatil about getting a bulk purchase discount. It looks like she buys a bit.
Anneleise Subert
Why, oh, why does Anneleise every week take a perfectly normal, could be lovely dress and just ruin it with crap. Without fail, she takes the dress and stomps on its potential. Beats the potential down like a Ukraine swim coach. Here what could have been a simple and elegant black dress with a nice pair of strappy black heels is instead accompanied by sheer hosiery that mother’s believe all good girls must wear, and the daggy court shoes. If only there was a fashion injunction for this type of crime!
Bella Servanti
Oh dear Bella my darling, this is not good. This is Lee Furlong, Vegas show girl, with big dirty blonde roots bad. This is tummy widening, earring un-matching bad. And poor old Evan’s just been dragged along for the ride. No Bella, no.
Charlotte Dawson
Charlotte’s obviously new back to the scene. She’s still learning the ropes a little and I think, in her eagerness to impress us all with her social skills, she may just be lying to her stylist. She may, in this skinny, oh so skinny world have dropped a few dress sizes in name, but not actually. This is two weeks running that Charlotte is letting the ladies go for a wander. Last week it was out the front, this week it’s a side step. Cop to the truth Charlotte and your ladies and I would be very grateful.
Candice Falzon
How Candy, can stand there and look seriously at the camera is mark of her potential as an actress. Because my, oh my, oh my, is that not the trashiest, ugliest, Ice Capades dress you’ve ever seen. She must be in on the joke, she must be hiding some beautiful number for later when she can chuckle heartily about how all those paps believed her and her ugly dress. Candy, please tell me you are in on the joke?
Erika Hairnets
Well, Erika, colour me shocked. That’s two weeks running, that you’ve fronted up looking, delightful and lovely and elegant and I’m thrilled. Although this is of course all said through gritted teeth, as I wait, with a pretty confident mind, that the other shoe will shortly drop and you shall return to the dark days of fashion. Unless, with the switch to a music career, your fashion sense has also switched.
Erin McNaught
I know it must be hard for Erin, to keep her fifteen minutes just ticking and I think we are beginning to see the effects of the stretch. Firstly, the Katies Formal Wear dress is probably enjoying being on the red carpet as it never usually gets there. Secondly, the make up is less that supreme. Unless, you’re attending an 80’s night Erin, blue eye shadow ain’t never going to be cool. And again, with the haphazard, wannabe hair style. It’s all a signal to a downward slide into obscurity.
Jodi Gordon
For those that believe I am heartless, and there are a few of you. Let it be said, that no, I can from time to time, find something beating away in there. Jodi has had a tremendously tough run recently, both on screen and off. Poor Martha’s stripping in Summer Bay (the tragedy being the stripper clothes are pink lycra – awful!) and poor Jodi’s beautiful boyfriend just past away to adult leukemia. For her to be standing is a feat itself, for her to look presentable is amazing. Bravo Jodi, you just keep putting your best foot forward and we at Harsh Light wish you the best.
Kelly Smythe
When Kell's first popped across my radar, she seemed to have a fascination with getting ladies front and centre and it’s good to see Kell’s is consistent. What again, could have been a nice dress and a sexy little ensemble has turned into, I stole my sister’s ID and squeezed into her dress and we’re going to pick up some guys and get wasted, wanna come? And for those who’ve seen Can’t Buy Me Love, borrowing people’s clothes can only end badly – well cheerleader prostitution with the hot considerate nerd Patrick Dempsey isn’t too bad really but it’s the moral of the story.
Kate Waterhouse
Look Kate, I know you’re from a horse racing family and Gai still probably asks you to pop down to the stables and do some further work from time to time. But I’m sure, between all that scooping and shovelling that there is time to drop off the saddle at home and not bring it with you to the next event.
Michelle
See this is another prime example of what happens with an athletic person, attempts fashion. It’s almost like all that running and pumping and lifting and jogging have affected their power of recognising an awful outfit. An outfit that gives Michelle, the shoulders of Chinese swimmer, while also making her look slightly like a transvestite. This completely explains why I don’t exercise at all. Damn though, I look good.
Melissa Doyle
Here’s what I don’t understand about Mel, she’s a hottie. She’s a yummy mummy, looks pretty good with the highlighted bob and rocks the chair next to Kochie. This being said, she continues her campaign to became of a part of the Sound of Music revival. This outfit is Maria prior to her leaving the abbey. Like Maria left the abbey and found Christopher Plummer, Mel please leave the abbey and find fashion.
Megan Gale
My gift is my song! And this one’s for you! This week everyone is stamping their efforts in casting themselves as parts in revivals. Meg’s clearly is waiting to perform an Elephant Love Medley with Ewan McGregor. Did she actually steal that dress from Baz Luhrman, cause he might want it back? Although Megs, I will say this – Andy Lee is a very lucky man, if those ladies get brought to bed every night.
Natalie Barr
By far the best on ground this week. Elegant, classy, groomed, well fitted, perfect colour, the satin isn't creased, the hair is spot on. It’s all happiness and love from me and I applaud Miss Barr and ask her a massive favour. Spread the word at Seven about good dressing, hell even spread the word at Sunrise, Mel could use your help.
Natalie G
From a good Natalie to a bad Natalie. It’s all wrong here and it’s so bad because it could really be all right. The dress doesn’t fit properly and this is further highlighted by her happy me hands on hips pose. The hemline cuts her nice and tight smack across her knee area making Nat look wide, and her stringy Barbie doll hair is a mess. No puns or laughs here, just fix it Nat. Now.
Pauline Hanson
This is just so special, I don’t think there are words. In fact, how does one critique or comment on a matching blue and orange, tiger and panther print suit with paper clips as button clasps with a matching ice blue cami underneath. I think by merely repeating those words, that’s all the comment I need to make.
Sophie Faulkiner
Sophie is becoming the Liz Hurley of Australia. No, she hasn’t been holding over the top, money wasting, stupid to the point of hilarious Indian weddings in every continent, that I know of anyway. But she’s decided to lock into the same tried and true red carpet style. Like Kimberley Davies locally, it’s a corseted dress, vibrant colour and sexy slashing. Problem is, it’s completely boring, I know exactly what to expect and how I’m expecting to get it. Go crazy Soph, maybe wear black! Or put your hair up! Think way outside the box, then get back to me.
Terri Bivano
I’m sure this is a lovely dress and I don’t see a belt so points for that Terri. The colour is probably really nice too and the length could be good. The reason I seem so vague about all this, is I can’t actually see the dress, not behind the blinding, light reflecting, retina sapping ORANGE. Did Terri sit in a barrel of Fanta for the entire day leading up to the event? If so, maybe she should speak to Coco-Cola Amatil about getting a bulk purchase discount. It looks like she buys a bit.
# posted by HLOD : 11:39 PM
