The Harsh Light of Day

Nameless Girl

In my top notch journalistic skills, I’ve completely forgotten this girl’s name. It’s all the new wannabe Big Brother contestants, their over tanned ‘no seriously, I’m a smart DD blonde lawyer’ voices are ringing in my head. Still, my attention was captured by Nameless Girl, and not in a good way. Stripes are good, they can look lovely on bedspreads, and classic pin striped suit is always delightful - especially on my bedroom floor. A mash-up of stripes with shorts however is not good, nowhere near good. You only look like a misguided crossword puzzle. And those things are hard enough.


Belinda Mathison

Proving the old saying that a miss is as good as a mile, Belinda starts off just missing then looking closer, you realise, that no, actually she missed by a hell of a lot. Like an MCG length. Firstly, the dress isn’t flattering to her shape and size, and that’s just her breasts. The ruffled shimmy leg just screams Dancing with the Stars and entire outfit is brought crashing down with the black shoes. The only excuse for the black shoes is that she broke her heel and her kind publicist passed hers over. If so, sorry Bel, totally forgiven, if not – well, naughty corner for you.


Colette Dinnigan

I’m beginning to feel really sorry for Colette. She must be so, so, so, so, super ass busy. The woman obviously never has time to change. She’s stuck in a constant state of fashion black. Colette, I admire the dedication to the one trend, I think it shows a level of commitment some were to afraid to embrace (Richard). But feel free, anytime you like, to break out a colour, or two. Maybe next week ease into it with a grey or charcoal.


Erin McNaught

No matter how hard Erin tries to be Jennifer, it’s just not going to work. Firstly, I’m not a huge Erin fan, let’s just put that out there. But it’s my blog and I’ll critique if I want too. With Erin, it still reeks of trying way too hard. This outfit could be renamed ‘The Devil’s in the Details’, because while the whole ensemble is perfectly okay in a Libra Fluer Tampon ad from 1986, I find the chain mail necklace off putting. And the awful lobe stud is so tarty! Sorry Erin but it is – and from a distance it just looks like your ear wax sparkles, which is pretty gross!


Holly Brisley

See as Robin from Pussycat Dolls tells us through her magically inflated lips ‘It’s all in the attitude and creativity!’ (nothing at all to do with the giant set each girl carries, or the cart load of makeup or the lack of clothing). Holly has clearly decided when she got out of bed, that she wanted to spend Wednesday being a rock star. Maybe she’s excited that Pink’s in town, who knows. The problem being Holly, you’re not a Rock Star, you’re an actor on Home & Away. I’m all for dressing for the job you want but there is also reality. So next time, get that top that fits, wash your hair and take off the aviators and it could all be a different tune.


Kimberely Davies

A tale of two bodies,
So tragically torn apart
Raised in different worlds
But from the same heart

One saw things anew
A saucy stripper in heels
Whose scant clothing
Told all how she feels

The other was the shy type
A jumper to hide her pain
The scarf kept her warm
Against the wind and the rain

Then one day, the two did meet
And were snapped together like so
And people were very confused
Was this a nun or a ho?


Laura Csortan

Today this site is sponsored by the Almost There Society – where everything is just one step away from being good. Laura is their patron and here demonstrates the latest from their fashion line. A beautiful lunchtime demure dress, with soft and natural hair, ruined by clunky heavy black boots that dominate not just Laura, but the room itself. For the imperfect price $4.76, you too can join the Almost There Society. The monthly newsletter is stunning but you’ll never see it, it will get sent to the wrong address.


Leisel Jones

See Leisel, the one awesome part of being a sporting celebrity is that a by product of your profession is an amazing body. It means you can wear sexy dress and people will admire your cut back. I know the Australian swimming team has recently taken to doing everything in marquees, however Leisel, there is no need to wear one. Also points deduced for white shoes on the boyfriend. Only Australian Idol contestants.


Susie Porter

OH MY GOD! Susie Porter looks good! Damn it, I’m upgrading her, she looks FINE!!! (Yes, ignore the shoes, just don’t look, I SAID, don’t look!) There’s no red beanie in sight, her hair is brushed and flattering and the dress is lovely and sexy and classy and elegant and not an eyesore. And her makeup is demure and lovely (Stop looking at the shoes, you’ll only make yourself sad – just think of her as footless! DO IT!!)


Tamsin Carroll

See, if you’d asked me what Susie Porter would normally wear to an event, I’d tell you – this little number is a Suz style. Tamsin, I’m sure it was a good idea at the time but a mirror is good thing, let it be your friend. If you’d looked in the mirror you would have seen the dress colouring was all wrong for you. It makes the green colour like off avocado and the paleness of your skin the white fridge in which it sits. You’ve obviously tried to compensate with theatre coloured make up. Blush is good, clown cheeks are not. Lots to be learnt Tamsin, lots; maybe catch up with Susie about the long road back from being Harshed.