The Harsh Light of Day

Abbie Cornish

We’ve said being a tainted woman is difficult, and that convincing people you had nothing to do with the break up of America’s sweethearts is hard, but dear Abbie, there comes a time when you have to get control, and reclaim your mantle as the next Aussie IT girl. Don’t go into reclusive hiding and become Winona Ryder, the Saks Fifth Avenue what’s in your shopping bag era.


Antonia Kidman

You know that nightmare you have when you date the bad boy at school, and when you walk into the room everyone is whispering, and you know, you just know, that they are talking about you. Well take a moment to feel for the Kidman ladies, both suffering from bad boy itis. Antonia says hey, fine talk about me, talk about my boy but check me out in my velvet hotness of a dress.


Bessie Bardot

Yes, people may feel I am awfully harsh with Bessie, but really, why can’t I be? She doesn’t really have any claim to fame, one that I can discern anyway, and she seems to just show up to everything, like everything. And that would be well and good, if she turned up looking good but Bessie seems to go out of her way to not dress well. Who decides that to the MTV Music Awards, where international celebs are rocking the carpet, that you would think a denim dress is appropriate. Denim dresses are only appropriate for bail hearings of ex de facto lovers.


Courtney Act

Okay, it’s time to pack up the bongos Courtney and either join the cast of Priscilla or just give up the ghost. It’s getting silly. Yes, you were funny on Idol, five years ago, but that time has come and gone and a man who can dress like a woman isn’t that impressive any more. We’ve got both NRL and AFL Footy Show panellists to do that for us. Tonight, you seem to be channelling a demented Toni Basil, and while I, more than most enjoy a great rendition of Mickey, tonight you are not so fine.


Charlie Brown

Would you buy clothes from this woman? This is an actually question. It would be like going to the doctor and having them cough blood, vomit in the rubbish bin, wipe snot on their sleeve and then attempt to make you feel better. My only explanation is that Charlie lost a Biggest Loser amount of weight in a small amount of time and didn’t have time to replace the wardrobe. Even then though, green satin and tiger print…Charlie, really?


Dean Geyer

The Hillsong Church’s Recruitment 07 drive got off to a great start. With Dean Geyer as spokeman and his ladies of mercy and mission to ‘assist’ anything was possible.


David Graham & Claire Madden

A standard, standard Big Brother appearance. Tan, tits and a hint of gayness. Claire re-introduces herself to the cameras with her ladies out for the evening, loud and proud. She’s a pretty girl but you have to wonder why one decides fellow housemate Crystal is your fashion icon? David is David, and he’s sticking to it, which is great consistency but really very boring.


Dita Von Teese

Dear Dita,

You are so lovely and elegant and ladylike. You’ve turned being a Burlesque dancer into a credible celebrity fashion option. You’re impeccably dressed today and as your sponsors dictates, your make up is flawless. Thanks for coming to Australia, hope you like it here.

Best,
Lady Harsh

PS – you sound very normal in all interviews, so anytime you want to drop me a line and explain the whole Marilyn Manson thing, that would be awesome.


Erica Baxter

It’s such a line ball decision here with Erica. In one respect, it’s kinda cool, rocky edgy rock’n’roll and it is the MTV Music Awards, so pay that. But then the top half looks like she rolled in gravel, and then used tarpaulin as the bottom half. And because she looks like the limo just dropped her off at a cement factory, I’m leaning towards the latter.


Erin McNaught

She’s my favourite whipping girl but boy she rises to the challenge every week. Just imagine, standing in front of the mirror at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon in Sydney, and looking back and seeing that reflection. Would you be happy? Or would you think that you’d better hurry to rehearsals for the Surry Hills local production of Fame?


Daytime Fregie vs Nighttime Fergie

Like the Barbie doll we all dressed, Fergie arrived in Australia and gave us good and bad. Daytime Fergie obviously had a monster long flight and felt that the best way to slide past the paparazzi was to maybe, dress like Mary Kate Olsen. Night Time Fergie puts on a run for a David Jones spokes model position, but does so very, very, very nicely so I’ll forgive her. But maybe she could have brought Josh Duhmael with her?

Girlband

With almost the stupidest name in Australian pop music, these girls are fighting an uphill battle. They are however determined that if Young Divas, with an equally stupid name are going to self implode then damnit, they will be there to pick up the pieces. They of course, are ticking every latest Cosmo pages fashion trend boxes in the marketing lead ploy to capture the youth market and sure they look fine, but in the end, it just smells of ‘please like me, please oh please, and by my record!’


Jodi Gordon

God I just love her! She just looks beautiful, and I can’t seem to find any long shot of the dress but I’m sure it’s good. Jodi strikes me as some one who is very aware of her best assets and how to utitlise them, very aware of what looks good on her, what makes her shine. I would like to nominate Jodi to commence pre-Logie dress courses for all starlets, I myself would also like to attend, just to shine in her brightness.


Kathryn Eisman

Kathryn is putting forward an early contender for the Australian swim team’s warm up outfits for Beijing 08. Not sure that Leisel Jones would love the heels, and the handbag wouldn’t really hold the cap and goggles but still valid attempt Kathryn to get the contract.


Laura Csortan

Once upon time Laura and I shared a love of good fashion, a love of fine clothes and unique self styled dressing. Laura has lost that loving feeling and followed the Supre Fashion Pack. Laura - a word please: wearing fishnets, having dark dirty blonde roots and sporting an AC/DC cheap $5 market t-shirt doesn’t make you a rock star. It just makes you sad.


Lisa Mitchell

Of course, the barrage of last year’s Idol’s couldn’t be that far off and here, Lisa heralds the new gaggle. Unfortunately Lisa doesn’t start proceedings off very well. Young, yes; slightly talented, yes but dressing like a recently freed nun, no. I know Lisa, our parents want to protect us from all things nasty but sometimes, it’s not good to let mum dress you, sometimes her ideas and your ideas are allowed to be different.


Megan Gale

This is what I call rock star dressing. Lots of black, leather, dark eyes, and edgy attitude. However, Megsy, next time, you might want to invest in some sockets because the grey woollies sticking over the top of the boots aren’t so rock’n’roll, more bed socks for later.


Natalie Bassingthwaite

It’s actually quiet scary to look at Nat now, she’s verging on outdoing Courtney Act in this whole cross dressing thing. I can see one part of it as edgy, rocker. But really, it’s just getting more and more bizarre and further aware from what we liked about Nat/Izzy. Tonight, she looks like she’s Miss Muffet, with something pretty big up her tuffet.


Nicole Richie

In a very environmentally friendly outfit Nicole shows us all how to pitch in. Wear the latest in coloured insulation dressing and you too can warm that size zero body and also fool all those who believe you haven’t eaten in days. For the latest colours and designs be sure to pop into Bunnings Warehouse.


Pink

You have to love a girl who rocks a beautiful white lacy dress with tatts and a spiky peroxide Mohawk. And while most of the time I’m so anti tatts as they ruin a good dress, Pink has the hola and attitude to do it, imitators forget it. This is sass personified.


Stephanie McIntosh

I can’t... I can’t quite... I just can’t believe it. I was just the other day wondering where Steph had gotten too. Last time we met, she was attempting to wear cowboy boots as evening heels and I may have been angry. But if this is how angry Steph reacts then by God Steph, stay angry. Your playing the assets game so well. Legs, lovely hair and hiding of the hips and cleavage area which has troubled you so in the past. Oh Steph, I’m so proud, let’s just hope you hold it together for the Logies, you know you can do it!

# posted by HLOD : 1:40 AM