The Harsh Light of Day

Annalise Braakensiek

Well, I’m a newly badged fan of Miss Annalise, I still however do have problems with the outfit. It’s whole Hawaiian festival sort of dress that would be fine if you were having drinks in the foyer of the Four Seasons Honolulu. But Miss B, you’re not – you’re on a red carpet so maybe a little more snazz, a little less sandal.


Asha Kuerten

Apparently Miss K is the second coming in TV as witnessed by her very impressive CV listed below in response to when I’m was so terribly rude in neglecting to report her name a few weeks ago. Well second coming or not, she still has a few problems with fashion and co-ordinating outfits. Things like colours and how they compliment each other, like how darks versus lights isn’t too good in the one outfit.


Charlotte Dawson

Charlotte’s outfit is so ten years ago. So, really is Charlotte’s time. Ten years ago she was a hot IT girl, she was involved in an off on relationship with a hot swimmer. It was all so hot. Then it all went sour and for poor Charrie it’s never really got back on track. Here it’s a cross between cocktail dress from Man o Man and golden turban used as a dress wrap.


Erika Heynatz

See here’s the big fat damn problem with belts a go go. Everyone gets on the belt train express and they swing right past looking classy station, zoom through beautiful dress station and arrive swiftly and promptly and in-explicable belt over unneeded belt station.

Fergie

For Fergie aka The Duchess - which is pretty presumptous to just go around and anointing yourself with a title, I’d like to tried have everyone call me Madam of Most High but no one will. Anyway, Fergie takes a bad dress and makes it worse by not wearing a bra underneath. Therefore the putrid pattern becomes even worse, with a spreading wide cleavage. Duchess points deducted.

Jessica Alba

The hottest woman in the world? Really? Here she looks like the hottest woman in the tenth floor accounts team.


Thankfully, she steps it up for the after party with classic structured black dress. Also you’ll notice the difference between the first and second shot how many more people have their cameras trained on Miss Alba. It’s the law of cameras.

Jennifer Hawkins

J-Hawk is look fabulously glamorous in the front row. The side swept hair, the oversized sunnies and funky white top. I do however think Jen, in all her rushing around fashion week busyness may have forgotten her pants.

Jodhi Meares

Oh dear Jodhi what is this awful mess. Did you steal the table cloth from a five year olds party and hope that with a belt everything would be okay? it’s not okay, not by a long shot. This is the kind of outfit that in a strong gust of wind could cause the wearer to float away. Just a warning Jodhi.

Jessica Rowe

Jessica no, no, no, no. This is not the way to get everyone excited about the comeback. In fact, it only serves to remind us that Sarah dresses better and manages to wrangle Karl better. Here Jessica, you look like a giant reflective stay puff marshmellow.

Lee Furlong

There are those that no matter how hard they try will never be cool. They’ll try to copy the fashion, they get invited to the cool parties and they’ll even get the photographers to take their pictures. Still, they remain uncool. Erin McNaught is the leader of that gang, she is the poster girl but Lee Furlong is her spunky offsider in uncoolness. Lee here tries to make a flannelette shirt cool and not in a Shannon Noll mockumentary way.

Melissa Doyle

Oh Mel, you’re such a dag, such a mumsy dag and I almost think it’s deliberate. Everyone likes someone they feel they can relate too and with this ensemble, you’re so relatable. However I feel Mel, that this may be following in another ‘relatable’ footsteps here and her name sounds like Perri-Mane.

Sophie Faulkiner

Much like Liz Hurley, Sophie is a one trick pony. It’s the slit and slice, and/ore cleavage with satin dressing. On this occasion, it’s brown satin with some delightful press on flowers and shiny-ness. It’s fine but by God, oh God it’s so damn boring! So very boring and Surfer’s Paradise.

Tara Moss

Oh holy mother of transvestite authors! What in the hell is wrong with Tara Moss and what in the hell made her think that dressing as Mistress of Pain for a fashion show is a good idea. Unless, she was attending the special Madame’s of Brothel Fashion Show and then that’s fine. But I think Tara, myself and most of us know better though.

Tracy Spicer

Trace’s the outfit is fine, no dramas there. It’s very respectable, very newsreader daytime play wear. The problem is the hand bag, if that’s what it is. I’m sure it’s lovely, I’m sure it contains very important newsreader-y things, but Trace it looks like your half way through crocheting in the front row. Now I’m all for multi-tasking but this is just a step too far.

Catwalk Reviews

Anna & Boy

Thank Christ! I’m always schlepping down to the beach, dragging my chair, book, sunscreen bottles and the rest of my shit. Inevitably I always, always drop something. Well no more will the beach defeat me! Hah beach, take that – Anna & Boy designers have solved my problems.

The Cassette Society

I’m all for catwalk fashion being unique, flighty and above ‘normal’ people standards – that’s completely cool, completely expected. However, I feel when I can go to downtown Moe and see this exact outfit in the Centrelink queue then really, it’s not high fashion is it?

Fashion Assassin

As per above comment so goes it here. However the larger problem here is some people will think this is cool, some people will attempt to copy this look at their local drinking hole. Most people will have thighs and asses that don’t permit such an attempt.


Oh, that’s so classy! Like I said, I’m all for runway being ‘runway’ but then there’s just being vulgar. How does this add to beauty of the dress? How does this make a buyer want to sign this label? It doesn’t! It’s a cheap and tasteless publicity stunt.

What a wonderfully crass and fantastically empowering message to send. There’s being ironic and all that and then there’s just plain rude. And to top it off the outfit is completely fugly. Well done Fashion Assassin for a show that subjects women to messages of skirt lifting and photography down pants – keep up the good work!

Jessie Hill

This is what Ben Cousins dreams are like. An ice laiden runway, with an oddly yet scantily dressed girl who seems to be ready to take him back down the powder white trail.

Ksubi

Oh yeah this guy is so HOT! For a moment, imagine if you will, that you’re setup on a blind date and you’re excitedly waiting, readying yourself. The doorbell rings and you open the door to reveal …this! How revved would you be?

You know, I’m all for making a statement. I’m all for pretending to be above celeb land (I’m not, hello to this endeavour). The ultra cool (insert sarcasm) Ksubi boys declared on the news that there are more important things in the world than Britney Spears shaving her head. And you know what, yes there is but don’t be acting as if you’re saving the world. You’re designing clothes for an over indulged financial loaded set, not the third world clothes for orphans in the Sudan.

Marsha Vetolskiy

The early casting sessions for Roal Dahl’s The Witches: Next Generation was going so well.


Australian Open 2008’s ball boys and girls will be the most fashionable yet.

Romance Was Born

The solar system as imagined in head wear.


Teen Wolf is fantastic movie. It’s Michael J. Fox at his brilliant best. The lovable boy next door who you want to date and could probably help you with your homework. And then he goes and turns into a wolf and becomes good at basketball and wins friends and respect. Sure, he is a wolf but give a little, take a little. Still, while it’s a fantastic movie there’s no need to start dressing in homage to it.