The Harsh Light of Day

Crime Watch 2007

That’s right kiddies, Harsh Light is on the forefront of crime! Only two days before the Social Lite Murder was splashed across the front pages of the newspapers, we featured the now infamous Charlotte Lindstrom. Ben B was first onto it, emailing me with a tip off and from there, everyone suddenly believed I was an authority on Charlotte – even Swedish press who emailed asking for my comments!! So I guess you have to make it in Sweden before you make it in your own home town.

As we can see, even at social functions Charlotte (red glasses) is one threatening socialite. What was once viewed as an innocent pic, I now think should be submitted into evidence as Image A. Clearly threatening poor Sofia ‘come on bitch, hand over the money or you and crocodile will be having words!!!’ That’s right – today’s lesson: crime effects everyone.

Asha Kuerten

Oh Miss Asha, you really are trying hard to get me to like you. If you smile in a peppy enough fashion, you’ll think that will do the trick. Sorry, I see past the smile and sure, the funky t-shirt and footless tights are fine, but the shorts with straps, really? You really think Ashlee Simpson needs a clone? And the Playschool earrings, yeah I don’t think so.

Andi Lew

Seeing as Andi Lew spends quite a bit of time shopping, you think she’d be pretty good at it. Admittedly, she is shopping for love but that aisle can’t be too far away from a nice skirt and good shoes. Obviously though she got lost on the search, and in a mad rush picked up a pair of crocs. Andi, honey, I know that shopping for love is hard, really I know but it still doesn’t mean you wear crocs as evening shoes.

Amy Matthews

Doesn’t Amy look nice. Very chic casual, what a lovely girl to take out for a Sunday night movie. Except Amy it’s not Sunday night, it’s not a casual date with a friend. There’s a carpet and it’s red and you’re being photographed! Put it all together and step it up.

Danielle Foote & Mr Secret

It’s really quite comical who will turn up for The Secret convention. Believers can you hear me! Can I get an Amen!! Danielle from Big Brother last season seems really eager to either meet the leader or to get a publicity shot. Hmm, wonder which?

Eric Bana

Okay there is no fashion critique here, nothing is wrong. I just think we should look at Eric. And look. And look at the hotness of Eric. Look at the brooding, soulful eyes. That’s some good breeding going on. Aaaahhhhh.

Georgie Sinclair

Stripes are hard, so very, so very hard to wear and impressively Georgie makes to pull it off. The trick is she isn’t over powering it with anything else, no heavy clunky jewellery, no massive bag and no stupid ratty hair extensions that ruin a nice classy outfit. Well done Georgie, well done.

Jeff & Felicity Kennett

Wow Jeff and Flick just breezed in off the street for the premiere at the Rivoli Theatre didn’t they? Do you think they just finished their meal at Pasta Junction and used their Safeway shopper docket for two for one. I think we may need to go over the rules of red carpet and photographers and what we wear when these things are present.

Jade Macrae

I think both Jade and I are in shock that she actually looks good here. Very cool, very rock star, the fake tan is not too fake, the skirt isn’t too short, the singlet top is statement yet not Supre. It all seems to work and I don’t know what to say, except, go Miss Macrae.

Mrs Pratt

Okay the BRW Rich List came out recently and I understand that Mr Inherit It Packer is number one on the list. Which means that yes, the Pratt’s have fallen. Still Mrs Pratt, I don’t think you’d need to cut costs so drastically yet, especially no need to go $5 barber shop yet.

Jaime Wright

Everyone it’s Jaime Wright, yes, THE Jaime Wright!! I will give Jaime the benefit of the doubt and hope that she was part of the fashion show she was attending. Still, as a model, if you’re going to be part of a fashion show, maybe, you’d chose not to be part of the new Britney Spears Yokel South Fashion Line. Wig included.

Rhonda Burchmore

There is a saying that all the world’s a stage and all of us are players. I think Rhonda lives that saying a little too much. High kicks and split leaps on the red carpet and everything! She is also a card carrying member of the Naomi Robson gym junkie team, where you’re upper arms are just bone and muscle!

Sophia Loren

I’m all about working your best assets, I like Ms Loren share a healthy handful of ladies (do you like how I compared myself to Sophie Loren, oh yeah, I’ve got an ego to boot!). Anyway, so Sophia I completely understand about working the ladies. But I don’t believe in giving those in the front row of the red carpet a free show! Sure there’s netting, but netting smetting Sophia, you're a piece of netting away from a breast exam.