The Harsh Light of Day

Asha Kuerten

I think everyone has been feeling nostalgic lately. I know I was thrilled with the flashback of Bedknobs and Broomsticks on Saturday afternoon (Angela Lansbury had quite the dance moves!). Asha here, shows her admiration for Paddington Bear. And I’m all for supporting your childhood love, it’s lovely and pure in these torrid times of jailbirds and rehabbing starlets. Still in the end, you have to question the dedication it requires, because Asha, you aren’t far of ending up in the women’s magazines with a ‘Who Wore It Better’ – and it’s against a bear!





















Ajay Rochester

See Ajay is someone I feel bad about Harshing – because the weight struggling girl in me feels her pain. Still, I would maybe as her friend, feeling her pain and all, maybe suggest a few different clothing options. One needs to wash ones hair before events, so you’re not forced to hide dirty layers with clips. One needs to walk away from waist chains, especially one with little people on it. One needs to find the closed toe version of that shoe. Mostly, however, One should at all costs resist with the strength of all that is possible, jackets that can also be used as floor rugs in a Playboy spread. In short, One, Ajay, has much to do.

Bianca Dye

Yes, it’s been noted here that I don’t have the fondest of fond feelings for Bianca but credit where credit is due – partly. Can’t say I’m the biggest fan of the tiger print, but personal choices aside, the cut and style for Ms Dye is perfectly flattering. It’s the first time, I think ever, that I’ve seen her in something that flatters her assets and I take that to mean, we are learning. The next lesson I have Bianca, is maybe learn a new red carpet face. One that doesn’t leave you looking so intoxicated/sedated.

Belinda Matheson

Here is the perfect, perfect, perfect lesson about why belts on anything is bad! Seriously, how did Belinda think this was a good idea? The belt has no business being on that dress – the dress was FINE! FINE! And Belinda, attempts to ride the overridden trend and wack the belt on. BAD BELTING people, BAD BELTING.

Cindy Crawford

This ladies and the few fashion savvy gentlemen, is how it’s DONE! This is what I consider pitch perfect! It’s all just so sublime. The dress itself FITS her perfectly, it’s elegant, classy and sophisticated. She adds uniqueness with the funky pearl necklace (I know one person right now giggling and I command you to stop!). And the shoes! How hot are they? High, for sure, but who cares when it makes her legs look so good. And as a few people know, I especially covet Cindy’s hair. So much so, I took a recent picture into my hairdresser and said do this – exactly this. (What’s that you say, you don’t care about what’s going on in my life – too bad!)

Caroline Pemberton

The controversial bather’s wearing current Miss Australia, continues the recent trend in reminding us why J-Hawk won the crown and the following crop failed dismally. This dress is a bastard child of a bridesmaid and wedding dress. It clearly doesn’t fit Caz properly, and makes me think she’s at her Keilor Heights Deb Ball in Harry’s Happy Bazaar Ballroom, instead of a five star event at the Hilton.

Giaan Rooney

Oh, carefully Rooney – be very careful now. You’ve had an excellent run in the recent weeks, wearing fresh, individual outfits and receiving praise about the town. Don’t think though, it’s going to ease the pressure on you. While the dress itself I don’t mind, the heavy clumpy black shoes completely drag the outfit down, as does the matching clutch. A light silver strapy to match the belty thing or maybe colours to match the spots next time. I’m behind you Giaan, I am, and so it’s now time to show me your best.

Jamie Wright

Jamie’s got some (or at least one) ardent fan out there, who will defend her to the ends of the NSW Coastline. So ardent fan, wherever you may be – this one is for you. Jamie looks quite nice here. The hair side play is very flattering to her face shape. The dress, while certainly showing off certain parts of Jamie, is quite nice. I even don’t mind the tights. I do question the purple bows on Jamie’s shoes, having nothing else to relate to in the outfit. Still ardent fan, you can report to Jamie she’s done okay.

Krystal Forscutt

I hate, loathe, abhore, despise and just plain am shitty to have to do this but overall Krystal looks good. The dress from what I can see is really classy and elegant, and I like the belt and even the classy shoes. The caplet is practical and sensible (OMG!). I do think Krystal could do with a quick snip and I also think the gloves are a little Cluedo. A little pre-sample to a crime she may commit. But still, I have to say it. Krystal, you look very lovely tonight – excuse me while I go and scrub my finger tips off!

Lindy Rama & Michael Klim

See, it shouldn’t work. It really goes against everything I think is good in clothing. It’s three giant ruffles for Christ sake. Still, for some reason, maybe that has to do with that certain Lindy quality, it works in my opinion. She looks cool and quirky and the colour jumps and she looks incredibly skinny. It’s the kind of outfit, I see, adore and know that never, ever in my wildest rich and famous celebrity dreams, will I ever be able to pull off. So Lindy major congrats to you, I can see why Mikey’s holding on so tightly.

Natalie Barr

Newsreaders are tricky little fashion identities. They are very restricted in that they can’t rock up on the red carpet in a Liz Hurley flash’n’trash dress but at the same time, we all want to know what’s going on behind that desk. Natalie to me, is the perfect blend. She is always classy, always restrained but still manages to look just that bit better than expected. Keep up the good work Nattie.

Paulini

This is unfortunately a tragically look cheap dress Paulini. Black and pale blue are never going to be good bedfellows but to have the heavy black hemline not actually complete is seamstress hell. The bikini style top also further enhances Paulini’s curvy esque features and not in a good way. And while the shoes doesn’t assault your legs the way Ella Hooper’s were last week, it’s not far off!

Rachael Taylor

Some how this young-ing has managed to escape the fallout of the oh-so terrible Headland. That in itself deserves a hearty congratulations. However I take it all back after seeing this outfit. The putrid green only reminds me to check my immunizations in case I have to go overseas. And the worst of all – those shoes, those shoes!! What metallic slide wearing devil monster made you wear these! Did he promise you C grade Hollywood celebrity status. Because even that promise would be easy to resist if it meant wearing those shoes.

Sam Brett

Pure hatred aside, I have to say this Sam Brett ensemble looks cheap and tacky. From the over extended hair to the mismatching shades of shoulder versus face tan. The ill fitting sack dress gives Sammy B a bit of stomach. But worst is the bag – while I’m sure it’s actually a real Fendi, to me it looks like a $5 bargain from outside the Hard Rock Bali. I even double checked for spelling errors – Fendy, Findi, Fndi. (I’m sure there are many who wish I checked my own page with the same diligence).

Sara Groen

You’ve got to hand it to Sara – she’s been handed a challenge and boy has she stepped up. She’s thought to herself ‘if I hear one more thing about how good Jodie G looks.’ And commendably instead of throwing a tanty and turning up with trashy hair extensions, she’s going A-game glamour. It’s elegant and mature and boy, is she not the girl every guy wants to bring home to impress mum with?

Sophie Monk

Looking like she’s auditioning for a young Anna Nicole Smith, with her awful blonde hair extensions and suspect inflated lips (Soph, if you’re going to inflate the lips, at least get a handle on them before a prime-time ACA interview – lest you look like the girl with braces who can’t quite enunciate).

Tiffani Wood

SHE’S BACK!!! My life is complete (yes, I know how that sounds!) Mama Wood is back on the red carpet and while it’s a tentative step to reclaiming the crown of kooky dresser – she’s put up a hand! The stripes and sheer tights help in equally unflattering ways. The furry pimp lady jacket and crazy curls continue it. And finally the not appropriate brown boots. It’s all working together to remind me how much I love the Tiff-ster, how I’ve missed her presence and how I hope this now means invitations will be flooding her doorstep!