Sunday, July 22, 2007
We're Going to Party Like It's Your Birthday
VOTE-VOTE-VOTE-VOTE
Do you: (email me your answers - feel free to give D, E and F a go as options!)
A) like Check Your Mailbox and enjoy planning your imaginary celebrity week
B) hate Check Your Mailbox, who gives a crap what Erin McNaught's juggling this week.
C) enjoy staying silent and not returning any form of feedback for fear of making a judgement and hence being judge.
Also, is there anything else you want from Harsh Light? Cash back and tax refunds for time are not available (I've already tried!)
The Audrey’s
I don’t know who the faux pastel Godfather is on the left, but the lovely little lass on the right looks delightful. She’s probably one of two people in the entire world who can wear a balloon skirt and not look like she’s hiding a watermelon in her dress. And the shoes are way too cute for her to keep, I’ll have them, thanks. Extra style points for the Mia Farrow-esque hairstyle – just keep away from any Woody Allen style people and life will be good.
Bianca Dye
I can’t, in sober mind, understand why Bianca Dye goes out of her way to look terrible. Why she revels in frumpiness? If it’s ill-fitting and makes her look awful then send it to her publicist because she’s sure to wear it. People – I am a smock dress fan, I love that hides my stomach from what I had for lunch! I love it! However, I’m not a celebrity (working on it!) and I’m not a carpet. And also there’s a reason it’s called a SMOCK!
Courtney Act
There’s something really wrong about this picture…it’s just…well…really damn scary. And no, I’m not a homophobic Pauline Hanson pledging girl – it’s the mere ergonomics of it! (for those not too familiar with Courtney, she’s a he…makes the picture more interesting doesn’t it!) On the flip side, with Christina A knocked up at least Courtney can take her maternity leave position in all Candyman dance sequences.
Candice Falzon
She whom dideth thy bad thing in thy bathroom at thy pubeth with Ruby Stareth has returned. In other words, Candice has come back from hiding. She’s hasn’t been hiding from the tanning bed though clearly. I actually quite like the dress, it’s cute and sequin-y without being a disco ball and her hair isn’t ratty stripper long. Welcome back Candy, hope the ladies is the only place we see you.
Connie Mitchell
What’s that Connie? What now? You’re coming to end of the fifteen minutes? Nah, there’s at least two or three minutes left in that old chestnut. You think you should have avoided the red tights? Yeah, maybe you’re right. And the finger gesturing like Dr. Evil is a bit odd too? Yeah, right again.
You’ve been listening to Connie Mitchell’s inner voice.
Faye Delanty
I don’t know what event Faye thought she was going to that wearing an in-side out football on her head would be appropriate. And it’s incredibly disappointing because the rest of the outfit is quite cute. I love the red coat, simple hair and makeup are all good, but the hat, if you can call it that, is dinner theatre, Better Homes and Gardens weekend project, not cool, edgy hip.
Jade Macrae
Jade is another one of those people who I don’t think really gets fashion. I think she thinks she gets it, but deep down, she is someone I see paralysed by her wardrobe and flicking to page 23 of Shop Till You Drop for the latest trend. Never understand her own special trend. The devil’s in the details and Jade, maybe should have gone a size smaller with this dress. It’s a hot clingy winter sexy va-va-voom but you’ve ended up with snuggle by the fire, throw on over jeans and rush to get a DVD.
Laura Csortan
While I’m not normally a fan of animal print, I give Laura a big pass because she’s at the RSPCA’s gala ball and here’s a way to show support (it might freak the animals out a little). Still, how long does she look! Amazing! If I didn’t know Laura better, I’d check for a step ladder under her dress. And as Ben, my friendly male correspondent has alerted me, guys look at the cleavage; and well Laura, she’s representing tonight!
Laura Weston
See Laura’s dress is a little similar to the lovely poppet from the Audrey’s above and sure, you could say in theory it should work. But Laura, has done the opposite of good things. The excessive cleavage, when there’s already plenty of leg! The balloon skirt that fattens not flatters. And the streaky orange legs with shoes that are quite odd (did she wrap white sports tape around the toes?) all equal fail.
Ricki-Lee
Free from the what appears to be most missed opportunity of reality TV bitchy heaven with the Young Divas (come on, don’t tell me Behind the Divas, wouldn’t have been solid GOLD!) Ricki Lee seems to have decided to lessen the diva within. No mutton as lamb dress thank god but I’m still on the fence about the Aunty June at the Formal pants and open toe combo…give me another outfit Ricki-Lee then I can truly decided. Now, if anyone can uncover the lost Ricki-Lee and Kate DeAraugo cat fit, I’d be eternally grateful!
Rachel Coleman
A cause is a cause is a cause, but then there’s paw prints on your back at a formal dinner! And no dog, but a Pound Puppy would make those clean, perfect footprints so nobodies fooled and the animals are offended. Also Rachel, not to be rude but two reasons to avoid the close-up: 1. invites inspection of the appliqué stud work – not good 2. not really you’re best angle, if you nose what I mean.
Samantha Willis
When fake tanners go bad. There is something worse than being streaky orange people, and it’s when the tan is so inconsistent and patchy, you begin to resemble an Andy Warhol piece. Also NASA called and would like their satellite dishes back – you may think their earrings.
Tali Jatali
Tali’s one of my favourite car crash fashionistas. She’s strongly reminiscent of a local Juliette Lewis – who knows what is coming next. Here Tali seems to be wearing a long-sleeve leotard, a very evident bra, a sparkly flimsy dress and Punky Brewster belt. I really don’t need to say anything. Even then model is like ‘take the damn picture man, I need to get this crazy girl off me! – I don’t get paid enough for this shit!’
