Sunday, September 09, 2007
The Cracked Teen Dream
Abi Tucker
It seems that as soon as you become as cast member of McLeod’s Daughters, you must check your fashion instincts at the door. For a pretty girl, how Abi felt gumboots (well they look like gumboots okay?), and dress/shirt/dress thingie, was the best way to showcase her beauty, I’ll need a 500 word essay to understand.
Ajay Rochester
Ajay has quite possibly the worse sense of dressing for her own body. Unless it’s Russian National Day of Something, there’s no reason for Ajay to be were cassock pants under her dress. The kids on the red carpet aren’t pleased and neither Ajay, am I.
Amy Pearson
Bubble dresses I feel are going to the death of me this season. Because in all fact on 4% of the world’s ladies look any good in them, and half of that 4% is Charlize Theron, and them are some pretty big shoes to fill. Amy doesn’t even get close. The pretty pattern dress is ruined by the Bananarama hemline. Also Amy, half the kids behind the barricades could have purchased this outfit themselves, and that’s not red carpet dressing.
Big Brother-ites
I was beginning to wonder where these kids were? Firstly on the left Bree Amer, unless you’re pregnant, you need to fire your stylist – if you are, I’d like an OK! in-depth interview please. Billy, completely expected. Bodie, massive improvement with the terrible hair gone, but still I remember you as a twat and a nice t-shirt and leather jacket won’t change that. Zoran, my Aussie Colin Farrell look-like. Alisha, for a hairdresser that’s some seriously average hair and I’m not even commenting on that dress. And Emma, Queen Bee and cleavage lover, you are as expected. A blonde Barbie D-grader with red carpet aspirations above you celebrity grade.
Bianca Dye
In a way, Bianca is worse than Tiffani Wood with her dressing. Tiff at least seems to have with fun her dressing (often at her own expense) but Bianca seems to hate her body and goes out of her way to punish it with bad outfits. This is very Milly, Molly Mandy and doesn’t absolutely nothing, NOTHING for Bianca. It does offer her for a leading role in any new Amish plays that are currently casting.
Camilla Franks
I can’t quite believe I’m going to say this; maybe it’s the sunshine out my window and the summery feel but Cami looks good. And you know why I’m saying this, because there’s a pool behind her and the sun is out and this is a very appropriate outfit for her clothing line. It completely suits the location – just don’t leave, don’t try and go shopping in this, or red-carpetting, just stay by the pool.
Rhys Wakefield & Charlotte Best
I get Rhys is the new style of metrosexual funky teenager who is so more fashion conscious than I ever want to be, but there comes a point when it’s too far. When you’re just channelling Joey Dee from Young Talent Time and you’re also clashing terrible with your date. (PS was the carpet uncomfortable with ex Indiana there?)
Delta
See Delt’s, I see what you’re doing, I really do. I love you for trying, you definitely have the body for it. But in the end, it’s just a bit weird and funny this outfit. And I really can’t quite put my finger on what it is, but something’s not right. However, hair and make-up are sublime!
Indiana Evans
Indy’s another one of these young starlets who has the perfect arsenal of hair, looks and body but has absolutely no real fashion sense. This dress really does her no favours. It’s actually very shower curtain-esque, and you have to ask yourself, if that’s what you’d want to look like. Probably not.
Jennifer Hawkins
This was the J-Hawk that was missing in action in the Sydney showdowns. The sparkle in the eye, the purposefully strut, the fantastic clothes, the untouchable girl next door feel, that no matter how hard any of us try, we will never, ever be able to emulate. Maybe Jen’s really pacing herself for Spring.
Kate Smith
There was a seriously disappointing lack of Dally M photos but I searched for what I could, and Kate didn’t disappoint. In what has to be a recycled formal dress for the mid to late 90’s, Kate hits every wrong mark for an adult red carpet debut. Pink – no, bustier strapless – no, flow-y chiffon pieces – no, streaky, nasty blonde hair – no. Good luck for next year Kate.
Michala Banas
The McLeod’s Daughter disease continues to wreak havoc on Sydney red carpets. Michala in a bird inspired sack and booties looks desperate to find the bathroom – hopefully to change her outfit!
Michelle Bridges
To be awfully rude, but if this were the Australian Porn 07 Awards, I wouldn’t bat an eye lid. However, than much leopard print and cleavage and eye liner found its way to teen awards – Michelle, the littlies are watching this one – please cover up and ease off the mascara.
Natalie Blair
Just as I was about to love her, Natalie doesn’t take steps backward. She turns around and practically sprints to bad taste dressing. The dress in and of itself, isn’t too bad, but the damn red clip belt and stupid, stupid boots are completely tarnishing the look.
Nikki Blonsky
Now, let’s just put it out there straight away. I don’t think Nikki is overweight. She seems to the be size she’s supposed to be and her body suits as opposed to equally sized Casey Donovan. This green number is the Melbourne premiere outfit and it’s great. Classy, suits her very well and doesn’t make her look bad.
However this gold number is a different story. It does nothing for her shape, making her seem very boxy and not showing off her legs in the most flattering way.
Ricki-Lee
Its official, the Young Divas are not to blame for Ricki-Lee’s terrible fashion choices. It’s all the Ric-ster. And what’s terrible, is that Ricki is pretty girl, with a healthy body and could, with the right outfit, look damn FIERCE. However, here she seems to be the missing piece of puzzle. And not a good puzzle.
Roxanne Lebrasse
This summer is all about the maxi dress. But what’s the rule people, short people stay away. I know you want to and it seems like an easy look, but let Roxanne be the example of why shorties and maxis don’t mix. Also Roxy, the dust ruffle/valance as a hemline is the worst look ever – I mean, unless you’re auditioning for a bedsheet.
Tali Shine
Sometimes, it’s bad all over. From top to toe it’s bad. But sometimes it’s the small details that completely trip you up. Firstly Tali’s shoes – are they not the most painful looking things ever? I’m really concerned for her toes! Secondly, sun glasses on a carpet! Unless you’re Bono, never gonna happen.
Terry Biviano
Terry on the same day and two separate events. Before you ask, one was at night and was during the day. They were not in the same place. Meaning she a) had time to change clothes, b) why didn’t she change clothes c) seriously, Terri why didn’t you change? d) all of the above.
The Veronicas
Firstly, Max Factor has called ladies and asked if you could let them know when the next red carpet event is so they could prepare their eyeliner stock levels appropriately. And yes I know that you’re rock stars, but there’s a difference between Shirley Manson Garbage attitude rock stars and orange hair, tatt’s on the calf, denim dresses and Everything I’m Not soft pop rock.
Thomas and Susannah – Big Brother-ites
I always get kind of excited when ex-housemates pair up. It’s got New Idea ‘House Bound: How True Love Found Me in a the Diary Room’ kind of story. And here Thomas and Susannah have exceeded expectations by the basically remaining themselves. He still has that wanky blonde tipped hair and is really tall. She is very pretty and seems to dress well.
Tiffani Wood
CHRIST ALMIGHTY! Are you naked under that? Really, you want to head down that road? The shoes are horribly terrible (excellent writing there), they cut your legs off and make you look leg chunky. And that top/skirt flouncy thing isn’t doing you any favours!! Instead of celebrating your womanly curves with a hourglass shape, you’ve decided to block your waist. Excuse me while I cry myself, dreaming of a day when Tiff-ster will rock a red carpet. It’s going to happen people, I have a dream!
Vanessa Hudgens
Pre-naked photo scandal (who and how exactly were these leaked – thinking caps on people), Vanessa looked like the teen dream she is/was – sexy little dress but not revealing, great hair and makeup and general red (or yellow) carpet quality, we don’t often seen round these parts from one so young.
Zac Efron
A statement must be first made – I kinda love High School Musical, and I’ve already seen 2, and hello, just as good. Any movie where people sporadically break into song with choreographed routines and a chaste teen romance brews is my kind of movie. And most disturbing about my High School Musical fan-ness, is that yes, I have a soft place in my heart for Mr Efron. However soft place doesn’t restrict me from reporting that my on the ground spies mentioned use of make-up on Mr Efron and quite a bit of foundation to boot. Now Zaccy boy, I realise these are tough times and all, what with your Vanessa, having a little photo shoot leak out, but just hear me out. Maybe lay off the Clearasil tinted moisturiser, and also the Stila Bronzer also.
Melbourne Spring Fashion Festival
Totally love the t-shirt, although I question the model knowing who those two people are. I’d like quiz on the triangle of Kelly, Brenda and Dylan submitted on my desk – making note to include Valentine’s Day Blood donation, the Spring Dance Night and resulting pregnancy scare and THE episode ‘I’m choosing Kelly Taylor’ episode.
With a pair on Bonds leggings and hoodie and some gaffer tape, Sarah knew her dreams of a fashion designer weren’t far off coming true.
Selina’s efforts to get free Foxtel took on a whole new level.
Betsy hoped no one had noticed how nervous she’d been backstage when she soiled herself.
And they said I couldn’t create a racing hat with just this role of roil and a highlighter! That will teach ‘em. I do wonder how I will get my dress on though?
