Tuesday, September 18, 2007
A Holiday and Emmy Fun
Amy Pearson
A grand, grand improvement on her Dolly Awards appearance, Amy looks surprisingly good in yellow. Still, the belt – while it serves a purpose, I just don’t understand why the dress itself couldn’t have been sewn that way. Why a big ugly belt, when a needle and thread and few extra minutes in the design studio would do?
Asha Kuerten
Appropriately green at the Miss Earth Awards, Asha is, let’s face it, a very pretty girl. However, she seems to be unaware of her body’s best assets and how to accentuate them. This dress would be far more suited to a bustier lady but instead on Asha, it makes her look incredibly flat chest-ed and also quite wide hipped.
Elka Graham
Wow! And not good wow! Like, weird Ellen Pompeo (more on that later) but seriously – I really want to feed poor Elka something, or she runs the risk of being confused with a xylophone. The dress itself is okay, a little beachy but still fine. I’m just of the opinion, that while women come in all shapes and sizes – 2B Pencil’s aren’t some of the shapes we’d like to see.
Kim Ellery
I don’t know what Kim Ellery does, I don’t know who Kim Ellery is. All I know is she successfully passed the Op Shop challenge. Dressing for under $10 is easy that’s for sure. Just don’t expect to look stylish, presentable or sane.
Rachel Hunter
There seems to be a misunderstanding that peasant dresses are cool, fashionable items that make you like exotic and summery. I have to ask, no offence to the peasants out there but would you really want to wear an outfit from a community of ‘small farm labourers of low social rank’?
Saskia Burmeister
Oh Saskia, I want to have your skin, your glowing smile and cute lovely dimples. I can’t really see your silvery tin foil dress. Could be bad, could be good, but I just like to look at your normal, beautiful fresh faced face! I’d be very temped to buy any makeup and/or skin product Saskia happened to be selling.
Tiffani Wood
HURRAY! Start blowing up the balloons, start unravelling the streamers, start flowing the confetti. Tiffani looks good, and I’d even venture into fine!! Sure there’s cleavage, but mamma’s breasfeeding and might as well use what you’ve got. And she does the fashion maths and covers up below. The black is flattering and the hair and makeup. Oh Tiff, together we can conquer worlds and worlds of red carpets.
Emmy’s Special
I love me some Awards shows, like a pathological love of them. So, while we stick to the Aussies around here normally, every major award show we delve into the overseas starlets.
Ten Best
1. America Ferrara
While for some reason Today Tonight was reporting that people didn’t like this dress, I’d ask for written essays or powerpoint because I think she looks FAB. Classy, elegant and not showing her hoochie, shaving her head or in rehab! (okay, the belt’s not my fav).
2. Ali Larter
While it slightly borders on sack, still Ali’s tall enough to rock it.
3. Ana Ortiz
The crazy wacky sister on Ugly Betty, looks glamorous, stylish and very not Ugly Betty. She’s not denying her hips, or her breasts, she is completely accentuating her woman-ness and boy does she look good doing it.
4. Eva Longoria
Sure, Eva seems to be have been born in sparkles and loves to work it. But she does look good, and knows what works for her and that’s half the damn battle!
5. Jane Krakowski
The kooky little secretary from Ally McBeal (remember that show!) looks lovely. With white being the colour of the night, she looks one of the best of the best. And even more so, the belt actually for me, kinda works! (I know, the locusts are almost upon us).
6. Katherine Heigl
Another white classic, Katherine looks beautiful and classy and actually quite sewn into that dress. And I think it’s an ironic reference to her role on a hospital show! Also, it makes me happy for the new season of Grey’s.
7. Lisa Eldenstein
Very nice Lisa, very nice. Daring and sexy and still not thrusting her boobs out for the world! You go Good Doctor, you go get some!
8. Sarah Chalke
While, it’s different and unusual and yes, has ruffles. I think Sarah totally wears this dress. She looks lovely, and fresh and has taken a little daring and driven it a long way.
9. Ellen & Portia
Lovely gad pride aside, Portia does look great. And healthy and happy and Ellen clearly adores her and I say fantastic work to all of you and to each of your own. I do actually think her dress is beautiful and unique.
10. No one else really grabbed my fancy. In fact, there wasn't a dress that I adored, covetted or would sell family members to have. A little disappointing, I must say.
Ten Worst
1. Debra Messing
Debra has been hailed for her fashion choices for years, and you know what, I’ve never, NEVER got it. Sure sometimes she looks better than most but times, as in tonight, it’s boring and blah and I really don’t care.
2. Elizabeth Perkins
Liz apparently thought she was off to a Sunday BBQ and then realized that actually no, while the maxi dress was definitely in, it wasn’t red carpet in. She fumbled hurriedly in her pocket for her car keys, hoping for a salvation that wouldn’t come.
3. Ellen Pompeo
Hairspray looks to be a good film, funny, fluffy and pretty people, singing pretty songs. It isn’t however a new way to start living your life. Ellen, it’s always an idea to check your hairstylists previous credentials.
4. Hayden Panettiere
Being a new famous person must be hard, all your old friends suddenly remembering your number and want to go to the hot shows. Still, Hayden try and resist the pressure. Don’t bend and try and sneak them into the Emmy’s in giant tent dress. People will catch on!
5. Jaime Pressly
WOW- when you have a nice figure and could chose hundreds of beautiful dresses, why would you choose something that makes your ass look huge and your books look saggy!
6. Joely Fisher
I talk a lot of about fashion maths, about giving and taking. Joely has given us everything and then some. Clearly she didn’t get my memo about slutty hemlines and droopy boob cleavage.
7. Kathryn Morris
Someone recently revealed the fact to me there can be such a thing as a cheap red. While Kathryn kindly has showed me cheap red. Along with it’s extra-cheap and tacky red ribbon!
8. Mary-Louise Parker
What starts as a completely normal corseted dress ends in a weird, weight adding dust ruffle. Why you’d ever want to start a hemline at the mid-knee and think that things would be okay, baffles with me and I’m sure many others.
9. Sara Ramirez
Oh Sara! You are normally my light shining brightly, wearing clothes that are beautiful and figure flattering. And you shown up with a peep hole! A peep hole for Christ sake! And then your poor ladies look very squashed and plumped. No, no, no.
10. Tori Spelling
Oh Tori Spelling, or for those who are purveyors of fine television: Donna Martin. Although if you look at Donna’s troubled history you can kind of excuse this dressing: Donna was a shy teen who was pressured by her younger, dorky boyfriend David to have sex, she hold off - he cheated but she forgave him. She got drunk at the Prom and was almost expelled but a march to protest saved her. David pressured her for a third time but just before, they were interrupted and then David turned to Crystal Meth and Donna helped him but then he cheated again and it was over. Donna met a musician who managed to respect her virginity and even wrote a song about it, but he became a bit of a hitter and pushed her down some stairs. In between some dude tried to rape her but David came to the rescue. She ditched the hitter and started with a new dude, but he was ditched to reunite with David, who was then diagnosed as manic depressive. She finally graduated and had sex with David. All the same type of stuff happened in the College years and it ended up with them getting married.
So you can kind of understand why she dresses like she does, can’t you?
