The Harsh Light of Day

Adelaide Clemens

Hello Avon calling! While this outfit is lovely and demure and is never going to appear on the Supre racks, I think Adelaide has run too far to other side of the line. Whilst searching for demure, she’s found retro housewife with ill fitting mid-section. And sure it’s cute and historical probably accurate, Adelaide could be so much more funky and cool.

Alan & Tracey Dale

Well Jim Robinson has come a long way, like a seriously long way. Delta, Kylie, Holly, Jason, Guy – they’d also wish for this guy’s career. The pinnacles being sharing screen time with the always fantastic Jack Bauer/Keifer Sutherland (never a hotter mug shot has been taken!). Still, I respect Alan & Trace for respecting the red carpet here in Aus. He’s dug out the tux and she’s wearing a lovely frock. Yay for you both!

Amy Erbacher

I kinda like this, actually I kinda a love it. I mean it’s summery and different and co-ordinated and just cool! This really makes me want lose the Christmas insulation, get a fake (healthy tan) and traipse around in white skirts which I’m sure to stain.

Asher Keddie

Asher’s a beautiful woman, there’s no denying it. So why would a strikingly gorgeous woman dye her hair such a boring brown? And then a loose sack purple dress that doesn’t really do anything for her? Okay, it doesn’t hinder her, she’s not revoltingly awful but it could be so much better, so much better.

Daniella Farinacci

If Daniella was the intermission entertainment, performing with animals jumping through her earrings whilst they were on fire and then she would perform a magical scarf dance revealing scarves from her hoop fronted dress, I’d understand this outfit. If not, then what’s going on here?

Delta

Glamour and Delta finally come together after so many near misses it was becoming a TAB sponsored event: Will Delta look good today? Heading back into more normal fashion grounds Delta finds safety and comes out looking amazing. The perfect combination of length, cleavage, jewels, adult hair helping Delta continue transition to adult with an ease that Britney Spears will never know.

Emily Barclay

I’m a little worried about Emily, I think there may be a serious problem. I think she’s been sewn into her black tights and is desperately hoping someone will notice and free her from the confines of perma-black legs. I’ve noticed Em, I’ve seen your cry for help and I’m assembling a crack team of seamstresses and we’re on our way, hang on, just hang on.

Emily Browning

Emily’s always been the little funk-ster than other starlets aspire to. She went off quietly to Hollywood, got herself her a nice little starring role and not a New Idea story to be seen. She rocks a fresh young look here, that I think is so cute, hot, rocking – even the shoes, they somehow work, even though they shouldn’t, they do. Hurray for you, young thing.

Emma Booth

Another youngster showing the early Blanchet gene of beautiful, ethereal fashions. Okay, it’s not red carpet stopping and we’ve seen versions of this Grecian inspired frock before, but there’s something in way she’s refused to even touch a bronzer that excites me. Especially heading into summer.

Isabel Lucas

She’s back! My fashion fruit loop! My off centre darling! My scoop of something different ice-cream. Issie, honey, let’s talk together, talk about your shoes? What’s up with this things? Are they booties? Are they surgical shoes? The dress itself is pretty but the ski boots you’ve teamed with overpower everything!

Joelene Anderson

I’ve resisted so long with Joelene using the lyrics to one Miss Dolly Parton’s classic song and I can resist a little longer, so consider that my Christmas present to you all. Here is the ultimate case of so close, so very, very, very close. And this is probably the prime example of my taste ruining everything. The dress is beautiful, great: insert your own adjective of choice. However the boring middle part in the hair COMPLETELY ruins it for me. I’m sure I’m alone but just imagine the outfit with a glamour updo and sparkling earrings – it would be that extra bit special.

Kathryn Eisman

In the case of the belt that ate the dress, Kathryn is Exhibit A. I put it to the court, that on the alleged night, Kathryn, the suspect, went to her wardrobe, pulled out a black caftan, and then without consent of any reputable stylist, BELTED the dress (insert courtroom gasps) with the SILVER REFLECTIVE BELT (insert crying ‘No’s from the courtroom). The people rests its case your Honor.

Marny Kennedy

Okay, don’t lie, this picture freaks you out too right? It’s really bizarre, and it’s nothing to do with the fashion. Very girlie, and simple but it’s not the dress, that’s got me hooked. It’s completely weird and I checked all other pictures to make sure it wasn’t just me, but nope, it’s Marny. Her head is seriously two times too big for her body. I’m not trying to be mean but it’s the only think I can think of when I see this picture. I feel like I’ve wandered into a modern day fashion parade from Munchkin Land.

Pippa Black

Pippa has never been renowned for her fashion sense. In fact, she seems to be fighting against good fashion on constant, war on terror kind of way. Tonight, she wears a dress from the Noni Hazelhurst strain of circus stripes. How anyone in team Black thought this was flattering for a young little starlet in training, I’ll never know.

Sara Groen

This could really go either way, it’s the definitive line ball decision. On one hand, it’s a cute cut, summer dress with hot shoes and a great fresh hair style to match. On the other, its Grandma’s bedspread recycled with pearls thrown in for good measure. You call it, however you see it?

Sophie Monk

The hairstyle screams ‘my stylist completely f***ed up what I asked for so in the last 5 minutes I’ve had to wash my hair back and pin into some Tara Reid slick do.’ The eye make up screams ‘I partied really late last night and had to use three layers of black liquid eyeliner to cover up’ and the shoes scream ‘Misstress of Pain’s special priced hour sessions now on sale.’ Everything else is getting drowned out by all the screaming.

Tania Zaetta

Someone, preferably not me, needs to sit down with Tania and have a serious chat about why stripes in her hair are awful and make everyone laugh. While they are chatting, could they also mention the Espirit mid 90’s top needs to be into the recycle bin. Feel free to submit your resume for consideration to chat with Tania, I’ll pass them along to her agent.

The Banas

I’m love with both of these people. Eric, firstly, cause damn that’s a fine piece of moody, broody, yet down to earth loveliness. And Mrs Bana, because she always seems stunningly girl next door. She’s never out there selling Eric’s stories, she’s just raising those kiddies, looking amazing and wearing exquisite dresses when required. And The Banas, because they seem genuinely happy together and honest and I could imagine them being great movie couple buddies. So Banas, give me a call, I’m free most nights but prefer Tuesday’s cause I’m cheap.