The Harsh Light of Day

I love award shows, like maybe a little too much. It’s just so exciting, and in a really anti-climatical way. The red carpet is the best, and when I lived in America and E! would indulge me and have four hour red carpet coverage – come on, what’s not to love? So with the possibility that the Writers’ Strike (a worthy cause – seriously, those writers’ were being robbed, they need to strike) may turn the Oscars into a sad little semblance of its self, the SAG’s could provide the only red carpet this season, so I’m taking a bigger interest that normal for the local Harsh Light.

Allison Janney

As precursor, I have to say I love Allison, LOVE HER. She’s is so classy and elegant and an amazing actress and if you see only one episode of the West Wing, you too will fall madly in her trance. Having also seen in her person, she’s incredibly beautiful and slim. Which confuses me, because with her height, I’m surprised the dress is too long? Who the hell was it originally made for – Michael Jordan?

Amanda Bynes

I kinda like this for the Bynes-ster. Whilst, not entirely being a fan of the drapery down the bottom, the bodice part and especially the hair and make-up are very good. The Bynes-ster has been known to over-tan in the past but I’m proud of her restraint here, it makes her look less teen Lohan cohort and more upcoming actress with talent and future career besides tabloid scandal.

America Ferrera

I like it, and then I don’t. It’s a great cut for her and flatters her figure beautifully but it’s also boring. Like really boring. In fact, I want to say Snoozefest 08. Come on America, this is it – no Globes, this is the one red carpet of the season for TV stars, you can bring it better than that!

Andrea Bowen

This is what happens when young actress try to act older than their age. Andrea obviously feels, that she doesn’t want to be the young teen actress on Desperate Housewives, she wants to be a housewife. Fine, but Andrea, you look stupid dressing like a 40 year old, when you’re nineteen.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt

I understand that you’re hiding the bump, I do, I get that. You want a little more time before every single camera lense is focused on the midriff only, but Ange, wasn’t there something else in the ‘hiding bump from paparazzi’ section. I’m sure it’s a pretty big section these days, what with everyone in Hollywood being knocked up. On another note, you two looked HOT at the actual awards show and THAT kiss was smoking!

Becki Newton

The flaps, why the flaps, it ruins what was to be a really lovely stunning dress. Imagine the dress, without the tissues look – the simple belt line, and then it drops to the floor in sparkly goodness! Oh what could have been.

Carla Gugino

I don’t know why celebs feel the need to test their cleavage. In some sort of challenge to her breasts, Carla’s given them the least support and most access to escape from the front, the side and even into the middle. The dress is fine, but I spent the entire time holding my breath, waiting for an errant boob. Hopefully Carla, the cleavage past the test.

Chandra Wilson

At first I thought I LOVED it, and in parts I still do but I’ve just noticed that golden sparkle in the dress is oddly reflective on her skin and makes her seem – golden? I know, I know small things but it just keeps bugging me and also makes me squint a little.

Christina Applegate

Of all the sparkle grey dresses (and there were a few), Christina romped it home in this one. She looks STUNNING, in my eyes. The dress fits perfectly, the hemline is to die for – imagine the swishy fun it would be. The décolletage is sublime. And the hair, it’s not over the top 40’s do, it’s soft and floaty and I love it all. It only further heightens my anticipation of Samantha Who? what looks to be a perfectly stupid show – so unbelievable but so watchable.

Ellen Pompeo

Meredith looks good here – happy, healthy and not having strayed off the path of fashion individualness to Bjorktown. The only thing, imagine how annoying that train is going to be in four hours.

Eva Longoria

Eva knows her stuff! She knows her body and what works on it, what colours compliment and if she turned up to something looking terrible, I’d be shocked to the core.

James Marsden

Who? What? Is someone talking, if so, SHUT IT. I’m looking at James Marsden, who is such a cutie! I’m mean, come on people, if that turned up at your door one night, how pleased would you be? And after seeing 27 Dresses, he’s even cuter because he survived a perfectly clichéd film (which I loved).

Jamie Lynn Sigler

This was my absolute favourite dress of the night. It’s just so beautiful, without being a disco ball of sparkles. It’s so understated in its beauty too. The crisp white paired with the blue – just awesome and Jamie Lynn doesn’t do anything stupid with hair, makeup and accessories. Where can I buy one? Including her perfectly toned shoulders.

January Jones

That name can’t be real, can it? January, who is born in what month – yep, December, no kidding, she’s actually born in January. Still, January's dress isn’t exactly floating my boat. It’s a weird sort of tissue paper gift wrapped, coming out the front, coming out the back thing and it’s not working.

Javier Bardem

This is for all the people (especially the ladies) who saw No Country For Old Men – a brilliant film – and had nightmares for days later thanks to Javier and his pageboy haircut as Anton the killer (I haven't ruined any plot lines, don't worry). Javier is actually quite the manly man and likes fiiinnnee and rocks an open collar.

Kate Beckinsale

Dear Kate, can you please appear in a movie that I actually like? Or have heard of? Also could you please avoid yellow in that shade at all costs, it’s completely overwhelming you and forcing you to make bad decisions. Much like you film script choices. Love, Lady Harsh

Marion Cotillard

Maybe it’s because she’s French and that sounds so much more elegant, maybe it’s because she classy and quiet and demure. Who knows, but Marion looks so beautiful here. The colour and cut somehow work and she doesn’t end up looking Disney fairy princess in a big ball gown.

Mindy Kaling

I’m the first to say, I have massive respect for Mindy, one the writers/stars of The Office (USA). She writes some of the best episodes ever and has a hilarious blog about buying shoes amidst the strike etc. Mindy however, a split down the middle is no one’s friend. Never has been, never will be. Please don’t feature on my page again as a fashion mistake, please next time feature as smart, cool, connected woman you are.

Rene Russo

Okay Rene, obviously didn’t get the memo that’s she’s 54. YEP! That woman is 54. And sure, I’m pretty confident mother nature isn’t that kind (and if she is, where the hell is that kindness in my direction). But Rene's crafted a beauty that doesn’t reek of botox. She can, as witnessed here, craft an expression. And boy does she look good! I’m considerably younger than her, and wouldn’t complain if I looked like that every morning.

Sandra Oh

Is it too easy and lazy to simple write Sandra Oh and mean it many, many, many ways. Oh my God, Oh dear, Oh my how sad, Oh no pink and black, Oh man that’s a big bow, Oh boy she’s housing a small camp of children in her dress, Oh how much must her limo be crowded, Oh I'd hate to be sitting next to her. Simply, Oh.

Sophia Bush

I have a girl crush on Sophia Bush. I don’t know why either, it’s not like I watch One Tree Hill, I think her taste in men is questionable (what would possess you to marry Chad Michael Murray) and she doesn’t seem to do much else but her little soap opera show. However, I do see her in some cute outfits and her hair is always pretty. And her dress her resembles bark off a tree, but still I don’t really care. It’s very A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Viggo Mortensen

What happened Viggo? Where is Lord Aragorn? Hell, I’ll even take the oversexed baseball player from 28 Days, another entirely good-crap (or groop as I like to think) movie. This like a cross between Colonel Sanders from KFC and Tibetan monk. I don’t think I even want to know what that red tassel is attached to. I’ll assume it’s something sexy and not a tasselled cummerbund.