The Harsh Light of Day

A small post today, as tomorrow the Monster Oscar post will probably kill me! Get ready people, it’s the big one and there’s so MANY people, who get it SO wrong. Check in Tuesday morning for full comprehensive coverage!

Amelia Pain

I don’t want to be obvious, because that will be frankly, well a bit lazy. But it’s too easy to associate Amelia’s surname with the feeling I get when looking at this outfit. Pain - hah! Also, Amelia, as a Ralph girl, I would assume it would be part of your contract to wearing a more busty revealing dress.

Charlie Brown & Jennifer Hawkins

I just don’t quite understand what’s happening with Jennifer. This floaty dress is probably quite nice but I just don’t see Jennifer in it – except obviously I do because I’m looking at it. It’s just something I’d expected Nicole or Cate to wear, it’s very Queen of the Fairies as opposed to Queen of the Catwalk. Still, this is very much a personal choice from my taste wardrobe.

Deni Hines

Deni continues to jump between midlife Ezibuy Shopper Catalogue dressing and Mum’s wardrobe raiding dressing. Also, why does Deni always struggle to pull an appropriate and normal face on the carpet? She looks like a first day kindergarten attendee.

Jordan Loukas

I need someone to explain why Jordan is famous? As far as I understand it, she’s famous for being an annoying foul mouthed wannabe model who didn’t win on Australia’s Next Top Model. Well, visit Frankston on Saturday night people, there’s plenty of foul mother wannabe models who don’t win anything.

Melissa Doyle

Not Mel’s finest hour really. I’m not going to say Melly’s added a few kilos, but she enjoyed the summer break, and that’s fine – so did I, I think we all should. However, maybe the strapless dress isn’t ready yet? Maybe just do a few more Naomi Robson newsreader yoga classes and then get back to me.

Sarita Stella

Memo
To: Sarita Stella
From: Ralph magazine
Re: Invitation to Ralph party

You are attending a Ralph magazine party, the dress code will be D cups on plentiful display, a very short hemline and piles of flowing hair with a special added tantastic glow.

Memo
To: Sarita Stella
From: Ralph magazine
Re: last night’s party

You were awesome, so were your ladies. See you next year!