The Harsh Light of Day

Chris Bath

Chris has always sneaky hot. You never quite knew that she was hot until she danced her pants off to AC/DC on DWTS and she has a knack for a good red carpet dress. Again, she gets my award for Sneaky Hot – great colour, flattering shape and a little different than the normal.

Erin McNaught

Okay, why is Erin McNaught there? She was on Neighbours for like two seconds, then decided that Sydney was more her scene and hightailed it back there. It’s not a massive loss for Neighbours in my opinion. Still, Erin shouldn’t suddenly get to trot down the carpet, even if she does look nice in her sack dress.

Fuzzy & Nathan

I’m going to shock a few people I think and say I actually like it! I do, I think Fuzzy’s cool enough and hot enough to carry this off, and sure the back train ruffles are crazy town and Nathan’s working some severe pinstripes, I actually think it’s kind cool crazy hip and the colour of her dress is jumping and you know what, I’m just glad it’s not black.

Jessica Tovey

Jess like her H&A cohort Jodi Gordon isn’t afraid to push the envelope, stretch the friendship, test the boundaries. However unlike Jodi G, I’ve been tested a little too far for my liking here. The bodice part is actually really good and I like the shape it’s giving, but then the flamenco ruffles that make up Part 2 of the dress are just bad. Bad in a Paso Doble kind of way.

Joelene Anderson

See, you almost had me Joelene, I almost wrote you a lovely review about how I thought this was cute and fun and quirky and sure, a little twee and a little prom but I was almost going to embrace that. Then I saw the SHOES! What are those shoes doing with that dress? How did this happen? Black shoes are not friends with sparkly pale dress, they just aren’t!

Jane Hall

I kinda like it and I kinda hate it. It’s much like an episode of Today Tonight, terrible because it’s so poorly executed (the tucked in things is way weird) but pretty because Anna Coren’s got nice hair and is trying hard to be liked (different to other middle age red carpetters). I also feel for Jane because Vince, her ex not so charming hubbie was there and it was a little bit of an Oprah face off on the red carpet. So I give Jane a pass, if only for the withering glance I hope she shot Vince.

Kate Langbroek

I heard Kate on the radio the next morning, trying to defend this dress and the one shoulder strap debacle. Well Kate, much like the Nazi’s, it’s pretty indefensible, the dress is just bad and the strap down, is wrong. And as you said, Alex Perry tried to fix it for you, but you refused. Between your word and stylist super successful designer Alex Perry, you know whose word I’m trusting – his, every time and twice on Monday.

Kate Ritchie

Like the John Farnham farewell tour, so drags on Sally Fletcher’s but you know what, I don’t care. I like Sally and I like Kate and sure her dress was bit billowy but who cares, her make-up and hair were beautiful, Alf was tearing up with pride and so was I.

Kat Stewart

Mission: To dress as formal shower curtain from the 1970’s.
Result: Majority successful, will attempt more fish based pattern next time, so as to avoid confusion with a magician’s assistant about to disrobe her cape.

Kim Watkins

Kim seems to be heralding the new formal uniform of someone from Star Trek in a horrendous orange, that only makes me think of pumpkin or sweet potato…in fact, I’m awfully hungry.

Lisa McCune

Hi, I’m Lisa. You may remember me from every Australian drama produced in the last ten years. You may also remember me from the many disastrous red carpet appearances I make, so much so that it’s now officially a joke. In fact, each year I’m invited on the basis, I don’t hire a stylist and trust my instincts. I cheated a little this year and hired a stylists for the bottom half of my dress. But my instincts kicked in and said, don’t match, don’t have the same pattern.

Natalie Bassingthwaite

Sure, it’s pretty and Nat’s hair is nice and she looks good. But, it’s a little bit of anti-climax after all the dresses we saw on Dance.

Natalie Blair

I would like to ask for a Senate inquiry into how this girl keeps getting nominated for the Golden Logie. I’m mean, really and truly! While the Senate’s investigating why she received so many votes from someone called Satalie Flair, they should also check out why she decided this dress, if you can call it that, was a good idea. I see layers, I see tulle and I see lace. I see too much.

Natarsha Belling

Tarsh, seriously looks 12! The 12 year old little sister who comes to her big sister’s 21st, but got to go to the hairdresser for the first time, so they over styled her hair to make her feel special and then over the top make up to make her feel even more special. Well, Tarsh, you're 35, it's not special.

Rose Byrne

Channelling Keira Knightley on her most foulest, pissed, PMS day, Rose is just a ‘delight’! Besides the face of death and the colour of death, Rose, why the one arm sleeve route? Do you love one arm more than another? Does one arm feel fatter than another? That poor one arm, just hanging out there by itself.

Seven News Team

Latest headlines: ‘Seven news women dress badly’ --- ‘Melissa Doyle has amnesia, thinks it’s 1983’ --- ‘Kylie Gillies challenges Tania Zaetta for Bollywood throne’ --- ‘Natalie Barr looks oddly tall and manlike’ --- ‘Blonde woman is dreading being compared to Charlize Theron’ --- tune in tonight for these amazing stories.

Sigrid Thornton

Oh Christ Almighty! Sigrid, you’ve got to warn people when you’re about to scar their retinas like that. The weird pom pom hair effect – that ain’t right and is that a dress, shirt or bed valance? Whatever you think it is, it’s not.

Sonia Kruger

It must be hard for Sonia to resist all the sleepy park jokes at Todd’s expense but from what I can tell she’s resisting so well done. And well done on this little ensemble. Very classic and elegant and ladylike. Sometimes our dear Sonia comes off a little severe but tonight it’s soft wavy hair and womanly curves, wrapped in tulle and I approve.

Sybilla Budd

Well this is quiet lovely Sybilla. Very floaty and dreamlike. And it must be hard considering your show got the boot faster than your character wanted to give it to the lead dude – yeah, I was one of two people who watched it. Normally, I’m also very anti belts, bows, ribbons etc but here this just enhances the elegance so bravo to you.

Tom Williams & Zoe Naylor

Trains were the clearly the ‘thing’ of the this years Logies but you have to ask yourself Zoe, when my train becomes so large and pillow like, that it could be a game in my new show Gladiators, have you gone to far on the train? To carry home the pun: Get off the train Zoe, get off.

# posted by HLOD : 6:08 PM  2 comments

Don't worry kids, I have been very much MIA, but I wouldn't abandon you on the biggest night of all!

Abbie Cornish

Excuse me...I’ve been gone for a few weeks and I come back to 1985! Abbie, formal pedal pushers – in navy! Are you kidding me? You’re an edgy person, I get that, you’re hip and cool and that’s fine but navy formal pedal pushers and embroidery class velvet hide the sins of a 45 frumpy soccer mum top – that ain’t no edgy to me.

Ajay Rochester

Sure, Ajay, it’s been a busy week. Had to crown another Loser and all the ensuing madness but Ajay, honey, somewhere in all that joy and weight loss, could you not have maybe done your roots? Coz man alive are they distracting me. Also, whilst at the hairdresser, talk to them about a conditioning treatment, Barbie’s hair is more natural.

Alice Burdeau & Ian Thorpe

Shock horror, a model and a gay man. Well I never! Sorry, Thorpy, you’re not gay, are you? Moving onto Alice, despite it being a little pink and my personal dilemma of if her hair should be up or down – I still can’t decide – I actually quite like this. It’s daring and risky and very model, very statuesque. Very Costume National Gala Ball.

Andy Lee & Megan Gale

See, now that Meggie’s retired, I wondered if she could have just shown up in some trackies and called it evens? While Andy’s looking suitably dapper and spunky, Meggie’s still rocking her particular brand of exotic model. And the dress, it’s a bit undecided. The pattern’s nice but the cut outs, not sure about that. So all in all, a bit eh.

Anna Jennings-Edquist

Whatever diet, weight loss program, facial treatment or surgeon Anna is seeing, I’d like a phone number please – ASAP. Anna’s obviously decided to take it up to Meggie by looking very glam and sophisticated in the black and I applaud her. Go normal girl, you take that super model down a peg or two.

Antonia Kidman

Beautiful. In a sea of chiffon and silk, Tones looks delicate, and ethereal, and much like her sister, there’s always a chance she could snap in two. However, if she snapped, she’d still look very glam doing it.

Bree Amer

Okay Bree, I’m just going to get straight to the nuts and bolts of it. What’s with the formal armband? What’s up with that? When have you ever seen a formal armband look good? When? If you can give me one celebrity occasion, I’ll watch every episode of Friday Night Live. Yeah, good luck with that! (Although if midget's keeping breaking their legs, I might have to tune in)

Caitlin Stasey

After last year’s bikini formal hybrid nightmare and ensuing talk of ‘sexed up’ Neighbours starlets, Caitlin takes it back a notch this year. Instead of emulating a Britney type over exposure, she’s now heading down the edgier, more hipper, I don’t brush my hair, Isabel Lucas path. Next week, the environmental cause and Jesus sandals will surely follow.

Catriona Rowntree

Well that’s just lovely Catriona. A seasoned Logie red carpetter, I’d expect nothing less that her A game, and Cat brings just that. The right amount of glamour, sexiness and event dressing. Watch and learn you silk worshippers!

Charlotte Dawson

This reminds me terribly of the ‘is she, isn’t she’ Angeline Jolie Golden Globes brown sack. What gave her a clear passage Charlotte, was that firstly, she’s Angelina and secondly, she’s got Brad Pitt on her arm, and thirdly, she is reproducing with his child, thereby endowing human kind with more beautiful people. If any of these are also applicable for you, then you get a pass, if not, then go home and change.

Dannii Minogue

Dannii, no matter how much some over the top, screaming queen says, mounds of fabric held together with a staple gun click tries to convince you, this is not high fashion. Stop listening to what Kylie says, its sister sabotage.

Dean Geyer

Is this how hot boys are dressing these days? Thank God, I’m not in school because, I’d struggle to find anyone cute if Dean Geyer is the barometer for taste. It must be all that hanging around with and proposing to half of the Veronicas. The weird Supre Top 40 punk is rubbing off.

Erika Heynatz

I’ll tell you straight up, it’s not my cup of tea. It’s different and unique and I very much applaud that, but it’s not exactly setting my world on fire. And that is completely personal choice. Some people may love this, and they would be absolutely justified. So Erika enjoy this ambivalent reaction, I’m sure to have an opinion on something you wear soon.

Georgie Parker

Snoozefest 08. Seriously, seriously, boring. From her GHD straight hair (anyone can do that), to her black (sleepy), billowing (whatever), dress (snore), this entire ensemble was lazy, boring and completely wasteful of a good opportunity to red carpet dress it up!

Giaan Rooney

Giaan, what made you think this oriental fan dance dress would work? It’s pretty tricky to start with, and you’re not high Vogue-end fashion yet, it’s still ex-sporting star for you. What completely ruins it though it the black velvet layer – why? I know Melb’s cold this time of year but girl, suck it up. And take off Wendy Harmer’s dress.

Holly Brisley

Guys and Dolls said no Holly. Wicked! rejected you, and Rocky Horror Picture Show probably are hiding from your calls, so stop dressing like some demented grand dame of musical theatre. I mean come on, a head band? Are you busting out a jazz hands rountine later on.

Indiana Evans

This may be the last time we see poor Indy on our carpet as her contract was not renewed (insert: sacked). She’s chosen to go out on a high note. She looks fantastically her age, with great playful colours, her tan while clearly fake is actually well done and hair and make-up are classy and youthful and the shape of the dress means she can look thin and glam and still eat dinner – works for everyone!

Jennifer Hawkins

I think the pressure of being Australia’s girl next door is finally getting to the J-Hawk. She looked tired and pale during her red carpet interview and the dress is very un J-Hawk, in its heavy tones and over feathers. I feel like J-Hawk is actually get old, and she’s lacking her sparkle and dazzle from the earlier years...years when she could put not a foot, hand or manicured finger wrong. Doctor Harsh prescribes a three week holiday, preferably somewhere with sun for you and Jake and turn off the Myer tracking device.

Jodi Gordon

Wow Jodi, talk about take my obvious and known affections and test me. I see that’s what you’re doing here – you’re testing how far you can push my fashion allegiance to you. And I’ll tell you what, you almost lost me. On first glance, I was admittedly, shocked and a little horrified. However, the longer I look at it, the more it grows on me. And grows. And I think now after half an hour of coming back to it, I think I like it, I like the risk you’re taking and staking a claim on individuality and again, Jodi, just like Constable Jack on H&A, you suck me back in with your dazzle.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the Logies coverage.

# posted by HLOD : 3:14 AM  7 comments