The Harsh Light of Day

Don't worry kids, I have been very much MIA, but I wouldn't abandon you on the biggest night of all!

Abbie Cornish

Excuse me...I’ve been gone for a few weeks and I come back to 1985! Abbie, formal pedal pushers – in navy! Are you kidding me? You’re an edgy person, I get that, you’re hip and cool and that’s fine but navy formal pedal pushers and embroidery class velvet hide the sins of a 45 frumpy soccer mum top – that ain’t no edgy to me.

Ajay Rochester

Sure, Ajay, it’s been a busy week. Had to crown another Loser and all the ensuing madness but Ajay, honey, somewhere in all that joy and weight loss, could you not have maybe done your roots? Coz man alive are they distracting me. Also, whilst at the hairdresser, talk to them about a conditioning treatment, Barbie’s hair is more natural.

Alice Burdeau & Ian Thorpe

Shock horror, a model and a gay man. Well I never! Sorry, Thorpy, you’re not gay, are you? Moving onto Alice, despite it being a little pink and my personal dilemma of if her hair should be up or down – I still can’t decide – I actually quite like this. It’s daring and risky and very model, very statuesque. Very Costume National Gala Ball.

Andy Lee & Megan Gale

See, now that Meggie’s retired, I wondered if she could have just shown up in some trackies and called it evens? While Andy’s looking suitably dapper and spunky, Meggie’s still rocking her particular brand of exotic model. And the dress, it’s a bit undecided. The pattern’s nice but the cut outs, not sure about that. So all in all, a bit eh.

Anna Jennings-Edquist

Whatever diet, weight loss program, facial treatment or surgeon Anna is seeing, I’d like a phone number please – ASAP. Anna’s obviously decided to take it up to Meggie by looking very glam and sophisticated in the black and I applaud her. Go normal girl, you take that super model down a peg or two.

Antonia Kidman

Beautiful. In a sea of chiffon and silk, Tones looks delicate, and ethereal, and much like her sister, there’s always a chance she could snap in two. However, if she snapped, she’d still look very glam doing it.

Bree Amer

Okay Bree, I’m just going to get straight to the nuts and bolts of it. What’s with the formal armband? What’s up with that? When have you ever seen a formal armband look good? When? If you can give me one celebrity occasion, I’ll watch every episode of Friday Night Live. Yeah, good luck with that! (Although if midget's keeping breaking their legs, I might have to tune in)

Caitlin Stasey

After last year’s bikini formal hybrid nightmare and ensuing talk of ‘sexed up’ Neighbours starlets, Caitlin takes it back a notch this year. Instead of emulating a Britney type over exposure, she’s now heading down the edgier, more hipper, I don’t brush my hair, Isabel Lucas path. Next week, the environmental cause and Jesus sandals will surely follow.

Catriona Rowntree

Well that’s just lovely Catriona. A seasoned Logie red carpetter, I’d expect nothing less that her A game, and Cat brings just that. The right amount of glamour, sexiness and event dressing. Watch and learn you silk worshippers!

Charlotte Dawson

This reminds me terribly of the ‘is she, isn’t she’ Angeline Jolie Golden Globes brown sack. What gave her a clear passage Charlotte, was that firstly, she’s Angelina and secondly, she’s got Brad Pitt on her arm, and thirdly, she is reproducing with his child, thereby endowing human kind with more beautiful people. If any of these are also applicable for you, then you get a pass, if not, then go home and change.

Dannii Minogue

Dannii, no matter how much some over the top, screaming queen says, mounds of fabric held together with a staple gun click tries to convince you, this is not high fashion. Stop listening to what Kylie says, its sister sabotage.

Dean Geyer

Is this how hot boys are dressing these days? Thank God, I’m not in school because, I’d struggle to find anyone cute if Dean Geyer is the barometer for taste. It must be all that hanging around with and proposing to half of the Veronicas. The weird Supre Top 40 punk is rubbing off.

Erika Heynatz

I’ll tell you straight up, it’s not my cup of tea. It’s different and unique and I very much applaud that, but it’s not exactly setting my world on fire. And that is completely personal choice. Some people may love this, and they would be absolutely justified. So Erika enjoy this ambivalent reaction, I’m sure to have an opinion on something you wear soon.

Georgie Parker

Snoozefest 08. Seriously, seriously, boring. From her GHD straight hair (anyone can do that), to her black (sleepy), billowing (whatever), dress (snore), this entire ensemble was lazy, boring and completely wasteful of a good opportunity to red carpet dress it up!

Giaan Rooney

Giaan, what made you think this oriental fan dance dress would work? It’s pretty tricky to start with, and you’re not high Vogue-end fashion yet, it’s still ex-sporting star for you. What completely ruins it though it the black velvet layer – why? I know Melb’s cold this time of year but girl, suck it up. And take off Wendy Harmer’s dress.

Holly Brisley

Guys and Dolls said no Holly. Wicked! rejected you, and Rocky Horror Picture Show probably are hiding from your calls, so stop dressing like some demented grand dame of musical theatre. I mean come on, a head band? Are you busting out a jazz hands rountine later on.

Indiana Evans

This may be the last time we see poor Indy on our carpet as her contract was not renewed (insert: sacked). She’s chosen to go out on a high note. She looks fantastically her age, with great playful colours, her tan while clearly fake is actually well done and hair and make-up are classy and youthful and the shape of the dress means she can look thin and glam and still eat dinner – works for everyone!

Jennifer Hawkins

I think the pressure of being Australia’s girl next door is finally getting to the J-Hawk. She looked tired and pale during her red carpet interview and the dress is very un J-Hawk, in its heavy tones and over feathers. I feel like J-Hawk is actually get old, and she’s lacking her sparkle and dazzle from the earlier years...years when she could put not a foot, hand or manicured finger wrong. Doctor Harsh prescribes a three week holiday, preferably somewhere with sun for you and Jake and turn off the Myer tracking device.

Jodi Gordon

Wow Jodi, talk about take my obvious and known affections and test me. I see that’s what you’re doing here – you’re testing how far you can push my fashion allegiance to you. And I’ll tell you what, you almost lost me. On first glance, I was admittedly, shocked and a little horrified. However, the longer I look at it, the more it grows on me. And grows. And I think now after half an hour of coming back to it, I think I like it, I like the risk you’re taking and staking a claim on individuality and again, Jodi, just like Constable Jack on H&A, you suck me back in with your dazzle.

Come back tomorrow for Part 2 of the Logies coverage.

# posted by HLOD : 3:14 AM