The Harsh Light of Day

The Logies fashion best and worst continues and apparently Australia doesn’t love Gretel so much anymore. And while, sure, we are the toughest of critics on our stage, I feel people who are defending Gretel with the statement of it’s a really tough job, maybe need a reality check. Doctors, Police Officers, Ambulance Offices – those jobs aren’t a walk on red carpet, comedy writer supported park. Just saying, while the bar is high – let’s not lower it to floor to be kind.

Back to the fashion then:

Fifi Box

Who remembers the year Fifi Box was the it girl? Seven and Nine were pitching for her ‘talents’, she fell down some stairs on Dancing with the Stars and flirted with Michael Weatherly at the Logies? (hang on, let’s all take a moment to think of Michael...delicious!). Well, it seems the moment passed Fifi by, and now as the simple weather girl in the midst of breakfast battle, she’s resorted to wearing an almost identical dress to her Logies heyday. Fifs love, find a look that works for you, but don’t live in that look forever!

Jessica Marais

This was a contender for one of my favourite dresses. It was red carpet, event dressing with elegance, and a touch of unique sexiness. Jessica when receiving her awards seemed appropriately humbled and thankful and she always added a hint of danger with the very real chance she’d trip up the stairs. Not that I’d wish that on anyone, at all ... well not completely.

Jodi Gordon

Good Lord, I love Jodi Gordon. She gets it - she understands how to smoke a red carpet. She’ll attempt a few brave choices but then other times, classic old school glamour. The dress is beautiful, and the cut is SO flattering. The hair, spray tan and cute purple clutch are just delightful additions.

Josh Quong Tart

Josh, the prankster that he is, thought what hilarious, foot stomping riot it would be to joke about a public health crisis that’s killed quite a few people including kiddies by wearing sequined a face mask. Are you just rolling in the aisles? No, me either. Tell you what Josh, next Logies why not dress up and singe your suit with ashes to represent how funny the Black Saturday fires were! That would just kill as a joke. Idiot!

Kristy Hinze

Kristy officially doesn’t care what you think, as she now owns everything, including your thoughts thanks to her wealthy marriage. And sure, it may actually be love, but either way, with all that cash, couldn’t Kristy splash out a little and go for a bit more glamour, a bit more zing.

Lisa Wilkinson

Firstly, I love that Lisa’s bringing the ratings battle to breakfast. I am so glad people are starting to realise how moronic Kochie and Mel’s dribble actually is! Maybe all the battling has caused some bruises, as poor little Lisa’s wrapped up like a Mummy in this dress ensemble. And I know the Chanel bag was about attracting attention to an upcoming announcement but did it really costs $11 grand? Because wow, I understand the economic crisis now.

Natalie Bassingthwaite

Okay, Nat and I have spotty history. I haven’t always been there for her drunk face Dance hosting abilities, and her fashion choices often leave me chilly. I say this as pre-cursor because people I know loved this outfit, loved the look and basically love Nat. Well, sorry kids, but mama’s not feeling it. It’s just a little too drapery, a little too hot beach dress for cocktail evening and not super event dressing. I do Nat, like the hair with its soft curls and warm brown winter tones.

Peter Reckell & Kristian Alfonso

Um, was I the only one at the end of the Logies telecast, thinking ‘hang they forgot Bo and Hope!’? I thought they were presenting and that at least softened the blow of sitting through an evening of awards to people you don’t have any knowledge of. Nine Network though, come on, Bo and Hope – Bo, whose real name is Beauregard Aurelius Brady (awesome) and Hope Williams. They’ve been married twice, had three kiddies – one named by viewer votes, been kidnapped, presumed dead, and had questionable surgery receiving organs from their offspring, faced off the possessed Marlena, believed themselves to be other people, almost were buried in avalanche – they deserved to present.

Ruby Rose

She’s edgy, hip and uber Sydney cool. But since when does that mean, a flock of crows have to be victim on your dress Ruby? Really, I kinda was expecting something more, I don’t know, edgier than feathers, with a glue gun and a plain spotlight black starter pack dress.

Sarah Murdoch

You know people, she snagged a Murdoch for a reason. Sarah shows the carpet, she can bring it like no one’s business, let her stunning-ness do the talking and the simple black dress be her canvas. Lochie for all his once upon a time hotness is now just smiling thinking, take that Papa Bear, Wendi Deng ain’t no Bonds girl.

Sonia Kruger

I know Sonia’s got 10 Years Younger in 10 Days happening, but she’s taken it too far. She’s dressing like a member of the Gossip Girl funky junky cast. Seriously, Sonia, at some point elegance and understatement will work just as well. Instead, you’ve revealed the ballroom dancer within still shines brightly with this ruffle vomit in ice blue.

Tasma Walton & Rove

See I like Tasma, I like Rove, I think they’d be a very normal-ish couple. From the top to silvery spangle belt, she looks great. Dewey make-up and soft curly hair but all of sudden the GFC hits hard. Designer just thought, screw it – I’ve done enough, I’ll convince her with my jazzy designer hands that this was the way it was SUPPOSED to be. Well, Tasma love, you’ve been fooled.

Tony Barber’s Mrs

Tony’s heyday was definitely, definitely the 80’s icon Perfect Match. Clearly Mrs Barber has never moved on from those, clinging desperately to days when hers was the hottest ticket in town. Well Mrs Barber, it’s officially time to let go. The sliding door is gone, the post mortem on the bad dates is gone, so is the hilariously teased hair – let us remember fondly and not by your leggings and white ra-ra skirt.

Tracy Grimshaw

It looks like Tracey’s about to announce a stunning defection to the Anglican church and her new role as female priest. This outfit is a little too Sunday morning rejoicing with the spirit on the red altar instead of Sunday evening slamming spirits on the red carpet. I love the Lord Trace, we all do, but this is a wee tad too far.

Cast Off

Home & Away

Again, the H&A crew, especially the ladies really bring a certain pizzazz factor. The dresses all seem unique and flattering to their individual figures, the colours are work with the skin tones and hair and makeup seems pretty good – no Sharni Vision fake tan addictions to be seen here. A special shout out to Esther Anderson, in the red. I can’t find an individual shot but she’s seems to look lovely. However, the fellas let the girls down a bit, especially though Todd ‘Porn Fuzz Mo’ Lassance, who may have thought he’d just won an Oscar with his most over the top ‘I Love My Craft’ speech. Toddy, you’re on Home and Away, home of Alf ‘Flaming Galas’ Stewart – it’s not Shakespeare at Convent Garden.

Rush Cast

I had no idea Joelene Anderson joined the cast – although this version of Joelene is a little colourful for the cop shop blue the Rush-ers get around in. Still, maybe that’s why Joelene has decided to go with a Pro Hart formal wear colour landslide – raging against the machine. The rest of the Rush-ers all fade into the background a little, except the dude on the right who could play James McAvoy’s older taller brother.